When the big studios had successfully rebooted every franchise they could, there was no option left but to mash up successful films, their first endeavor being a mash of "Planet

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago-having little or no money in my purse, I took a job at Starbucks. The manager, Mr. Ahab was obsessed by a customer he called the White Whale, who

Almost as soon as BONE LOSS by Heather Mandibles hit the best-seller lists, it was pulled from the shelves. Too many readers were being found dead in bed, with their bones missing.

"I-I love you!"

I keep seeing his screen name pop up in the corner even though he's been logged in. I keep thinking how he goes to smoke pot and fuck that dyke behind my back. I hate thinking.

Carnival. The kettle corn was almost shouting out the smell from the port-o-poties. Almost. The man in the red shirt was carrying a giant clown head under his arm. I lit my smoke a

She'd married a cheater. Couldn't keep it in his pants. She was passed taking it personally. She knew he loved her. She just had never told him about the sex change operation.

I wish my grandmother was here. She'd know what to do. Tomato Soup, Ritz Crackers, Grilled Cheese on White Bread, and a cold cloth for my forehead. The teapot whistled in the

His thick hands grabbed my breasts,and I gasped in desire.The moon was still high(and so was I,but I think it was real) when I felt him slide into me,standing on the beach sand.

Elliot was always unlucky at school. Not 'bad' luck, just 'unfortunate' luck. Take this morning for instance, a pigeon had artistically decorated his sports bag with it's

How to take over the world: Step 1: Acquire large quantities of quartz, copper, and canned cheese. Step 2: Start a digital greeting card business. Step 3:

Fuck it. He wasn't working anymore, and he wasn't going to quit. "Bean stock?" Fuck bean stock. Starbucks sucks. The little white beeper went off, and he thought "No..."

Paola hoped that she wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. She couldn't bear the way he looked at her. Lost in thought she realized he was in the same room. Just then he spoke,

The witching hour came. The wind howled outside. The rain looked like blood splattering on the window. The manthing sniffed the air. Then continued eating the severed head.

Cindy Lynn had the deluxe Beverly Hills superstar mansion with pool cabanas and helicopter pad. But she didn't have the helicopter. Anna Marie did. Luckily, the Fairness Fairy saw

Attention mere humans: I-The Supreme Fuzzy Overlord-command all human world leaders to report immediately to the nearest cat food processing facility to await further instructions.

Once upon a time

Carlotta Widdershins looked around at the old farmhouse from which she had evicted her troublesome goody-goody sister. "Good," she thought. But the gloom in the northwest corner r

Sneezing again. This head cold just would NOT go away. But maybe, just maybe I can find some kobold minions that aren't TOO stupid, to search out ingredients to a legendary remedy

This is going to hurt.