Call me Ishmael. Some years ago-having little

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago-having little or no money in my purse, I took a job at Starbucks. The manager, Mr. Ahab was obsessed by a customer he called the White Whale, who

was this obese chick who didn't bathe. My super, Ahab, liked she'd order the most expensive whipped mocha frappe. She, the "White Whale", called me "Ish" but Ahab got livid when

she smeared the Koran with leftover whipped cream. Ahab would have liked to evict her, but since he'd had that unfortunate incident with the can opener all those years ago, he was

deathly afraid of newfangled devices such as sponges, dish clothes, and notices of imminent eviction. This understandable aversion left Ahab with a rather simple existence. He work

He Big Man. He work hard for his money. He work so hard. So you treat him right," said the little foreign sailor when Captain Ahab hobbled by on the

neck. Captain Ahab threw him off the side of the ship.

Later he was seen being used as a chew toy by a great white shark. Captain Ahab radioed Captain Nemo and then flicked a switch for the ship to convert to submarine mode. Captain Ne

mo had unfortunately pressed the big red button. Nobody was supposed to press the big red button. You could hear the impact of Cpt. Ahab's hand as he slapped Cpt. Nemo. The ship

Recoiled in horror at the sight of an iceberg ahead. Moe, along with Larry and Curly, had hijacked Cap. Ahab's ship without any experience. "Let's try the green button", Larry sai

-d mindlessly, provoking a bout of mutual pain administration. Vying for control of the ship's wheel resulted in injuries too horrific to describe, and collision with the iceberg.