It still bothers me that my own mother didn't care that I was cutting myself, yet my science teacher did.

What do you fear? Heights? Spiders? Loved ones dying? Loneliness? Well, I don't fear any of that anymore. I can't fear it, because it's already happened. When we lived in Colorado,

I was sitting outside in the park enjoying the nice sunny weather when all of a sudden

On the Importance of Commas in the English Language: Man bacon is so good. I need to eat poop and shower before work. But this toilet's only for elderly disabled pregnant children.

At the inaugural meeting it became clear to the members of the Crumpet Lovers Society that they would need a larger venue. Crumpet Lovers struggled to hear the intense debate about

It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.

This is the saddest story I have ever heard.

"The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is special air force units that guide our bomber formations!" winked the commander. God I hated him.

The retcon police had successfully retooled Jar Jar Binks into an ex-soldier of fortune, but now they faced greater challenge: Undoing Steven Moffat's time as Dr. Who showrunner.

Pearl sat on a log in the woods. She had a billy can of ravioli in one hand and a piece of cutlery in the other. She'd been staring at it for a while. Was it a spoon or a fork?

Only really really smart people will be able to make sense of this story. Oh yes, it is a tale involving all of humankind' s greatest conflicts, but with definite resolution. Bob

once upon a time a young lady named molly, fell into a large amount of money from her recently deceased great grandfather. Nobody really knew how larry (

Ichthyosis vulgaris, I had never heard of it before, but it is real. The twins were born and immediately diagnosed. With all their scales I knew they would either become super hero

Then she put a deep fried hard boiled egg in front of me and I didn't know what to do.

Come over here and peek through this electron microscope. You see that speck on the left antenna of that mite? Increase the magnitude. Now, look closer. What did I tell you.

Big Macintosh wanted his kid sister's attention. "Now, Apple Bloom, this here's B. F. Skinner. He's gonna put you foals in a box!" B. F. Skinner was busy tinkering with the box.

Sometimes, we have to fight for the ones we love. Even if the ones we love happen to be androphobics in HR with large tummies and penchants for sausage.

I was distracted by the unpeeled orange on the counter. I thought, who would leave an orange unpeeled like this? What kind of monster? What kind of sick, twisted, evil, wicked

Twas the night before the birthing, and all through the tent, nothing was stirring, not even 50cent. 50Cent was 2busy mixing martinis 2worry about the c section happening 1 tent ov

It was a chilly winter morning and I was preparing to leave.