Arms flailing wildly, he broke the surface. Desperately gasping for air he reached out hoping to find something, anything, he could float on. That's when he noticed the

Tonight seems weird. I got home and

A thousand years of war. A thousand of solitude. Immortality had exacted its price

Tippity witchity.

I'd heard about the lunar flare but didn't pay it any mind until my skin started peeling after a long walk through the humid night. I'd taken off my shirt and my back was now cover

I was sleeping in my room all alone and when I woke up I was in another room and suddenly!

It was too much really. Precious memories was playing & I couldn't recognize anyone in the photo album. I needed help. I took the album and ran out the door. Only if anyone could

Sharon was peckish, and Tara was sheepish... Between the two of them, it was turning into a real zoo of unchecked primitive impulses. Both were sisters, which might have explained

At the time it seemed like a great idea. Walt''s bachelor party would be Where's Wally themed. We dressed him up in the trademark red striped shirt and cap and told him to hide in

Hold up, wait a minute let me puts some pimping in it. the party don't stop till 8 in the morning!!

It was love at first sight. I saw him watching me and when I looked at him he did the cutest little shy lookaway. But there was just something there. I knew right away that we'd

Ted Turner was finally broke. Sure, he had a lot to say, but no one cared anymore. The awful truth was that he was the equivalent of

Fuck it. He wasn't working anymore, and he wasn't going to quit. "Bean stock?" Fuck bean stock. Starbucks sucks. The little white beeper went off, and he thought "No..."

After the race money exchanged hands. The Tortoise gave the hare 1,000 dollars. Then the Tortoise's buddy collected the money from all the bets

The class sat frozen. No one in the writing workshop wanted to give notes. The fact that John LeCarre was a student had freaked the budding writer's out. But Ted was an idiot and

This is vanilla you sick sonofabitch. Ted was right of course. But I needed "The Max." His middle-class brain could never fathom that, so I switched over to

Hatchling Services swooped in. "Ma'am, are these baby birds yours?" "Yes." "Are you aware that your nest is in violation of many building codes?" "Um..." "Is it true that you puke

Bomb disposal is NOT a job for the faint hearted, which was unfortunate for Cpl. Jock Sergeant, who's heart was so faint as to be transparent. On his 1st day at bomb school, he sat

Meet Rose, we named her after Cassie's favorite movie the Titanic! "You named you daughter after the freakin Titanic!?! What type of a parent does that!" No one knew what to say.

Waiting for the rumbling sound of his fathers truck as if it had a stomach on empty, he sat impatiently on the steps. Up and down went his little bottom, then there was a ring.