I was sleeping in my room all alone and when

I was sleeping in my room all alone and when I woke up I was in another room and suddenly!

In fact, my appearance in the other room had been so sudden that I surmised I must have teleported there by accident. I made a mental note to fix my personal teleporter and went

to the same room and ask sorry for teleporting there by accident and i went to the the next room to tell them

a bunch of questions. I was sick and tired of unintentionally teleporting. I went to my first Unintentional Teleporters Anonymous meeting, where they told me I was powerless over

the disease and that to manage my life I had to take things one day at a time and turn myself over to a Howard Power. Odd, but I had to stop unintentionally teleporting so I found

Howard sitting in a bar in the outskirts of Omaha. He was drunk but I knew he was The One. I sat beside him & prayed, "Our Father, who art in Omaha, Howard be Thy name. Teleporting

is a sin, I know, but I can't resist. What should I do?" Howard hunched over his gin & tonic,then turned his bar stool to face me square on. "Teleportation is a trick of the Devil.

" "What if I teleport a case of Bombay Saphire into your basement?" I said with a smirk. Howard smacked his lips together & then whislted. "Can you teleport my mother-in-law to

a paradise resort in the Bahamas? I just love that woman." I smiled at Howard. "I can do all that and more. Just sign here." But Howard would soon learn to always read fine print.

The fine print read: All items purchased are not refundable.