Bob went outside for a walk, he hadn't seen the sun in days. The bright sun forced him to squint as he walked along the sidewalk. Few cars passed by him as he explored the world.

When my hamster started having philosophical discussions with me over dinner, I knew it was time to sell him to the neighbors next door.

OMG... I just woke up in a room full of naked people. That's the third time this week it's happened. Then there was the cheesy fry incident. Clearly the LSD was beginnning to ta

Toledo. Crap and Heaven. Before I bleed to death, I would like to tell my tale. It begins in a sinkhole near

"Grok, tell joke. How many Neanderthals it take to make fire?"

"Alert! Beyonce has broken her silence on the 'elevator incident'." Alert! Beyonce has broken her silence on the 'elevator incident'. Alert!.."

Engaging with people in the window, a solo Castrati rings out a sinful bleat,

When you see a large, unmarked, red button, you probably shouldn't press it until you know more. Tom learned that the hard way, when he found one in the pantry of his new home. He

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands . 'Now' , she asked Will , ' has your plane arrived yet ?'

I had been walking for about twenty minutes, when suddenly I felt

The dream police that live inside of my head were unable to stop me from dreaming I was an alpha wolf. At night my pack would run through the forest and over the snowy hills search

I just happened to remark in the weekly sales meeting that we all needed to get our ducks on the same page. I was arrested next morning by the Grammar Police for Metaphor Abuse &

Joe RavenCrow cast the circle and tuned his field. "O Mighty Kool Aid Man, hear my call! Please help me with my drinking problem. I ask this in your name. Oh Yeah!" The wind stirre

Al llarg del carrer s'amunteguen els cadàvers, íntegres o en trossos. Paren les ambulàncies. Corre, crida la gent. Estem a cent cinquanta quilòmetres del front; és la rereguarda.

...This is your brain on drugs... now with a slice of bacon and some hash browns. Don't forget the orange juice. The Big Drug Slammers Special... available at Denny's.

Seth pressed through dense undergrowth until he reached a faint, crooked path, the kind made by animals. Nearby stood a squat, gnarled tree with thorny leaves and black bark. Seth

"Yo." I waved my hand in front of the girl's face. No response. Great. Here I was, stranded in the middle of nowhere, with only a pencil in my pocket and a comatose girl.

The literary whale typed the last sentence, dove straight into the currents and swam amongst a bunch of severed arms wearing mitts. A singlet floated by and then an enhanced

Look at that British girl who lived off of chicken nuggets for almost eighteen years, ” Wenkel continued. “The fact that her body was able to utilize the meager nutritional value o

"It is dead now," Adam assured me, one of his hands resting heavily on my shoulder. I wasn't so sure. "Are... are you positive?" I couldn't make myself look away from the