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13
I tried to keep my eye on the sparrow, but now I was looking at a moth circling an interrogation lamp. "You were looking at the moon, weren't you, but you were not thinking of me."
Finished
2016-05-25 11:47:37
Took
3 years, 119 days, 19 hours, 26 minutes, 57 seconds
26
The bar smelled like fresh-squeezed hipster and easily was the worst place the band had ever played. They were crammed over in the corner between the men's room and a gigantic
Finished
2016-05-25 11:45:42
Took
3 years, 123 days, 17 hours, 15 minutes, 34 seconds
35
It was carnage, pure and simple - when Wile E. activated the Acme Mundaninator, suddenly cartoon physics (and cartoon chemistry for that matter) went out the window - falls were
Finished
2016-05-25 11:43:40
Took
3 years, 123 days, 18 hours, 14 minutes, 38 seconds
21
At first, Joe's search implant seemed like a good idea. But it exacerbated his ADD until finally he was scattered to the winds and lost. But like a shaman, he returned from this
Finished
2016-05-25 11:42:04
Took
3 years, 124 days, 19 hours, 9 minutes, 35 seconds
5
For a long time after the events I am about to relate, I went to bed late just to be sure that I didn't wake up in the middle of the night.
Finished
2016-05-25 11:40:08
Took
3 years, 133 days, 17 hours, 46 minutes, 41 seconds
5
It's 1:37 a.m. EST on Christmas morning and I'm sitting here surrounded by wrapped presents thinking "Is this IT? Is this what it's all about?" If Christmas could be different, I'd
Finished
2016-05-25 11:38:25
Took
3 years, 152 days, 9 hours, 57 minutes, 35 seconds
8
Wow, so many shipping options: Ground, air, next-day, Santa... ...Santa? It says here that he accepts payment in cookies. I'm not sure how I feel about elf labor, but at this price
Finished
2016-05-25 11:37:04
Took
3 years, 152 days, 14 hours, 16 minutes, 58 seconds
23
"Hi Mo, I'd like a special. Can you mix up 1 finger each of Pernod, Jagermeister, Robitussin, & Bacardi 151 and light it?" "Sure, you want that with a Azodicarbonamide sandwich?"
Finished
2016-05-25 11:35:31
Took
3 years, 166 days, 16 hours, 28 minutes, 29 seconds
14
Ronnie was the guttural screamer for Retching Uvulas, a death metal band. Lately he'd been listening to George Michael and hoped his bandmates would welcome a new direction. "Guys,
Finished
2016-05-25 11:33:25
Took
3 years, 269 days, 22 hours, 25 minutes, 30 seconds
24
No!!! Did it have to be clowns?! Heart racing, he carefully clamored into a dusty broom closet. Vibrating in trepidation, a vigilant ear upon the door. Jingle, jingle....HONK!!!!
Finished
2016-05-25 11:01:33
Took
69 days, 8 hours, 56 minutes, 56 seconds
25
The thing about my job is that, most of the time, you start with a reasonably ethical motives, but end with unreasonably unethical outcomes. That's the problem when you
Finished
2016-05-25 05:46:29
Took
3 days, 17 hours, 16 minutes, 50 seconds
11
"Once," she begins, dark eyes buzzing with excitement, "he whom dies raises back from the death. Oh, no, not snarly, or frightening at all, but all flesh and bone."
Finished
2016-05-24 23:59:31
Took
6 days, 5 hours, 8 minutes, 37 seconds
25
Detective Manatee stood back while this was occurring, so that he would not “get knocked over” when the dog was “spinning around trying to find” the source of
Finished
2016-05-24 12:31:02
Took
3 years, 60 days, 38 minutes, 45 seconds
30
"Hey!",I yell,waving."Hey!",he mimics,waving back.How irritating;standing in front of each other and waving.A guy appears behind him:"Dude,that's a mirror",I hear a voice in my ear
Finished
2016-05-24 06:06:58
Took
11 days, 10 hours, 54 minutes, 23 seconds
51
It's nice to be stuck in a fantasy isn't it? But you can never be stuck forever. Some day you have to return reality... where it is kill or be killed.
Finished
2016-05-23 13:55:47
Took
3 days, 23 hours, 13 minutes, 33 seconds
46
The glass jar, bereft of all its former antiquity, decided the story was going nowhere fast. It had to think. Of something. And so it thought, and as it thought it moved. And as it
Finished
2016-05-23 01:50:26
Took
1 year, 287 days, 49 minutes, 10 seconds
24
When time ran out and generic drugs became legal, Big Pharma pooled their resources and began to promote "Sodamitol -- good for whatever ails you." Martin Creosote, son of
Finished
2016-05-22 15:00:43
Took
3 years, 121 days, 18 hours, 18 minutes, 13 seconds
84
'This WC will continue to flush', stated the notice, boldly, 'for as long as the chain is held.'. "Really?" thought Spencer in amazement, and proceeded to hold the chain for the fo
Finished
2016-05-22 12:51:25
Took
2 years, 315 days, 3 hours, 52 minutes, 52 seconds
16
"Jimmy died today. He blew his brains out into the bay!" Billie Joe yelled in front of an audience of teens, with low self-esteem and questioning morals, as he strummed a guitar.
Finished
2016-05-22 12:21:26
Took
3 years, 130 days, 1 hour, 40 minutes, 34 seconds
46
Shall I remove another?
Finished
2016-05-22 09:45:31
Took
1 year, 102 days, 1 hour, 44 minutes, 39 seconds
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