I'm getting ready to go back into the hospital for another surgery. So, if for any reason I don't make it out alive, I just want to say that I've left you all something in my will.

Your lips i taste one mine

His spirit languished at a roadside bar, Karma the dregs in some unfinished bowl of chili there. The stools reminded him of the climb his life had been. Having been a door to door

Pretty kitty sitting so still. Are you hoping to catch your fill? The little brown mouse just ran in his house. Silly kitty sitting so still.

The crowded cheered and he basked in the glow of success. When they started chanting "speech speech" his handlers tried moving him off the balcony, but it was too late: "My fellow

Spring Flowers

Totally random words! 1) Table. 2) potatoes. Pppppooooooottttaaaatttttooooooeeeesss! *says potatoes randomly in the corner.* 3)

I have a friend. . .well--at least he thinks he's my friend. . .who is always there, even when I wish he'd be somewhere else. It's hard to miss someone who is always there.

Back in college I started playing underwater hockey. Then when I was in Navy Seals I realized a team of dolphins could own the pool floor, so I quit the navy and

Necronomicon, book of the dead, waited patiently among the remainders next to a Dan Brown novel and an 'Owners Guide to Fish Tanks.'

Where the hell are they? The muddy water blurred my vision and my gills were clogging up with river sludge. They are lucky it's not a Tuesday or I would eat their livers just for

If yuo cna raed tihs, yuo'er smrater tahn teh avreage humna.

Hi

“Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.”

Alone, old man Suzuki lived a quiet, rural life in a decrepit hut near Kyoto, the ancient city where his dreams had been crushed, his fortune seized, and his only son kidnapped.

The Dipsy Doodle is a new roller coaster that promises zigzag turns translating into 40 Gs of force, enough to make it feel like you’re being squashed in between 2 sheets of steel.

Sometimes it's just too easy. Like retrieving sugar-infused confections from a miniature fledgling human. All you have to do is spend 8 hours a day for 5 days a week for 30 years

"Où est la carotte?" she said. "Ah! Ici la carotte!" he replied. "Où est le banane?" he asked. "Ah! Ici le banane!" she responded. "Où est la courgette?" "Ah! Ici la courgette!"

As if in a trance, I steered my shopping cart into the strange gloom of Aisle 11. Moments later, a small smoky demon chomped on my leg then handed me its business card before it

In a Norwegian fjord a thought was nestling in an icy cleft of granite. The sun shone on the clear water, the idea became flesh and the flesh took on the form of the mighty Kraken!