The day crept up on him; took him by surprise: twenty thousand...but none seemed more relevant than the one before, or, for that matter, any other that came before. It was a Friday

Squawkers flew up to the stage to receive the Tony Award for Best Actor for his role as Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman. This was the first time any parakeet had ever received

I had been collecting my sweat for two years now. I kept it in mason jars. Thousands of them littered around my trailor. I was proud of my collection. I had names for each jar.

as a rooster in the turreted tower of the bouncy castle. He cockadoodle-dooed militantly. I heard clucking behind the great mound of chicken sh!t. It toppled towards us ominously

After the professor finished her lecture, she turned to a student and asked "What did you learn from this?" The student looked up from his notes and said, "I AM GROOT!"

Of all the pies - apple, cherry, moon, even pigeon pie, there was but one pie that Bartleby longed for. It had ruined him for all other pastries. He would sit in math class, idly

Suddenly the door opened and everyone screamed. They never expected to see

There I was, stifling my sobs into heavy breathes with my forehead against the exterior glass of the sphere. The door wooshed open behind me, and I turned hear it: "EXTERMINATE!"

I was a latchkey kid. We moved a lot, too. I never got a handle on settling down to a future that would inevitably change. One day on the way home, two roads. I took the shortcut.

[Fold1]: The judge repeated: "I'm leaning for the death penalty." The attorney was astonished. Was he influenced? A question formed on her lips. [Fold2]: "Why are poo-poos brown?"

Dick's array of attention whores brought him wealth and popularity, along with recurring VD and criticism. His wealth allowed him to buy the site, www.richasshole.com, with

At the FoldingStory Meme bar, Det. Manatee and Agent Scarn were swapping strories. Big Lion was on the mike. Just then, Kool-Aid man burst in,"B’chugerroth is back in town!"

Dane smiled and broke off a piece of his pancake, putting it on his daughter’s plate. She produced a fork like David Copperfield and started the dissection. I could tell she’d

Eventually, all species will become one

I have three months to live & hundreds of things I want to do before I die. Most important? I wanna be able to say I played craps in Vegas. So I booked a suite at the Four Seasons,

The evening skies were beautiful with its tint of red and yellow, it reminded him of the times he had with his now deceased wife "heh...those were the good days."

I told my guests that I loved their shoes so that they might keep them on, the sight of crinkled toes made me dizzy and ruined more than one Amway party

Alan was on a nervous high before his first (blind) date since the divorce. But the person looking expectantly his way appeared to be wearing a pair of crotchless tights as a shirt

There is nothing worse than making a grammatical or spelling mistake on Folding Story. It was like a kick in the balls. But the damn timer created so much anxiety that

Awakened after æons, Zalgo, emerging from the unfathomable depths of the most inaccessible icebergs of the southernmost regions of mars, glanced pensively towards Earth