Lady Midday visited me today. I was walking

Lady Midday visited me today. I was walking along the lane in the hot sun when she joined me. She's young & pretty and I laughed in spite of my headache. I can't stop thinking abo

ut the ax imbedded in the back of my head. It distracted me from focusing on the lovely Lady Midday. Her pink rosebud lips were moving, but in my impaired state, I could not form

coherent words or thoughts.Green-tinged foam dripped from my mouth. Ugh. I trembled as I caught a whiff of Lady Midday's perfume. "What's the matter?" tinkled Lady Midday. The ax

body spray was the matter. "Nothing I replied" and then I stuffed Lady Midday into a tea cozy.

of a sauna. Relentlessly positive, I praised it as snug, but was initially confused by nozzles and the techniques of the spray tanning booth. It was largely ignored by the body

cleaners and I was unsure how sanitary this spray tanning booth would actually be. Knowing almost nothing about it myself I figured I would have to take my chances in its snug conf

ines, just like anything else. The confines turned out much snugger than I expected. I was being literally crushed by the spray tan booth. I didn't want to be gravy infused anymore

and quite frankly I was beginning to doubt that the strange-looking people at the Tropic Tan counter were really all that concerned with my bikini lines. Their faces had started to

melt when, as if they had read my mind, they claimed they were very concerned with my bikini lines & insisted on examining them. The Tropic Tan counter people's dripping faces

Undid my jeans and the first tarantula-like leg shoots out, knocking one staff member out. Another pops out and chokes the staff to death. I remove my jeans and scuttle away.