If you squint and peer between the shutters of the old shop on 23rd and Corbil, you can see endless rows of records. From bebop to Mozart to unnatural static, the store had carried

"Showing another power surge sir," He said, with an "I told you so" tone. Captain

"Hey, I know..." I hated when she started a sentence with those words. Trouble would soon follow, I knew. Almost as bad was, "I was wondering..." I drew a deep breath and waited.

Kimberley Stockholm was a goddess - she had legs that were a mile long, teeth that you could see your reflection in, and hips

Deadly quiet, the gang of graffiti vandals hopped the outer fence and crept down the compound. Their intended target, a massive roadside billboard facing the westbound interstate,

The point of the theory behind the Spacial Obesity Program is that, anybody that tries to overcome the urge of stuffing their fat faces with Hot Chilli Pancakes while travelling at

"Yes Tracy, smoking crystal meth is bad for your teeth. But it's ALSO a great way to increase your metabolism," said Officer Doug, our D.A.R.E. instructor. "Any more questions?"

The dragon eyed the damsel suspiciously. This did not look like any typical damsel in distress. In fact, with armor, sword, and shield, she looked very "un-distressed".

Hortincula Meares was about as steady on her four-inch heels as a cyclops in a china shop, and the brick paving underfoot seemed the culprit; but Hortincula was gourd-empty stoned.

"The 31st weekly meeting of Goat club is now called to order.The secretary will now read the bylaws", said Great Goat John. "Rule #1 Never talk about Goat club. Rule #2 No Helgas"

Some people think that it is awkward for 53-year-old men to listen to Britney Spears' Greatest Hits album repeatedly while furtively but furiously hoping for a sign. Others know

"A 24 hr bus ride to Tijuana Ricardo! What in Cojones are we gonna do all this time?" But Ricardo was prepared & pulled out one bottle of coke, one of tequilla and two plastic cups

With all the groupies and the long bus rides and nights filled with drugs and booze, I know I have paid my dues as an ocarina musician.

For Mother's Day I got my wife an invigorating 3-minute internal vaginal massage followed by an all-expenses-paid solo sandwich making workshop right in out kitchen!

One night, when I was sitting outside on my porch chugging down another Iron City, the sky curtains drew back. A hand came down from the sky & pointed to the east. So I got up &

This is a tragic story of star-crossed lovers, faked suicides, pizza alle vongole, muffled screams and hearts shattered into tiny bits then trampled under the heel of fate. But tha

Determined to find out if the legend was true I took a bus to Manitoba. I wanted to grasp the Rogue Wendy's 9 patty T-Rex burger in my own hands, unhinge my jaw & make like a snake

I am Groot.

Each anniversary, The Kraken would light a candle for Father Merin at St. Mary's By The Sea. It was Merin who had alerted The Kraken to the Invisible Ocean and its predators. But E

The heavens once an object of superstition & fear now a vast region for growing knowledge: thousands of planets are known but what kind of life if any inhabits these other planets?