Welcome to Purgatory Diner, sir. If you pay with your Purity Card, you will eventually earn enough rewards points for a flight to heaven. If it interests you, today's special is

I was so relieved when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I'd been looking for a way out of the relationship and happened to be sterile. She didn't know this. Of course, she

My Uncle Luther just passed gas while we were sitting around the family room. I was the only one who heard it. He knew that I knew. But it quickly became evident to everyone that

Jeremy calculated that every possible person worth dating on the internet for a given individual lived precisely (2*age)/ (inverse square of mass - 100 kg) miles away, making the

The Sun is the only thing that makes me happy, feel it. Its heat is short, when a roof cover its warm light and me back to reality, to the courtyard. After three hours of class.

"POPULAR BURGER SHOP USES PAINTED BUNS" was written on the front page of the newspaper this morning.

Standing atop the desert plateau, I peered through my scope and casually picked a target. No one in particular just some

Ribbed, pleasure dotted or “rough rider” condoms are usually billed “for her pleasure.” This phrase is a fallacy. Women are not sexually stimulated by

Didn't know you had one. You should have put it back. You have the warmth of a ketchup bottle at Denny's. Well go ahead and try. Just try. I'd like to see you give this

The fletcher handed a silver tipped arrow to him. They'd never hit their mark, but they had to appear valuable enough that they would not be wasted when the sheriff came to check

Sometimes I think about it late at night. If I could, would I go back and do something different so I could be with her, forsaking this future of wife...family. I don't like the

She howled from the shadows, fingers clenched in tangled hair. Her teeth were ground to the gums and the painkillers staving off the anguish from exposed roots were wearing off.

“Three days, huh?” Ken nodded with a broad grin on his face. Coq au Vin is a chicken recipe that involves chicken, wine, mushrooms, onions and time. It’s probably the most

As she walked down the hall, lights blinked out and flickered back on as she passed. To the casual observer, she was magic and scary, but close observation would reveal a shadow

"Peas with rice?" asked the lisping effeminate. We had just been about to leave the restroom when he'd appeared from the adjacent stall. "Disintegration is their spookiest album

So this is where father kept his so called pornos. Under the bed. How clever. She wondered if mom knew. She wondered is mom watched them with him. Was that how she was conceived?

The shot glass was overturned, but leaking a brown liquid onto the table. "Alcohol abuse" thought Leo. He lifted the glass and tongued the remains, then slurped the rest off the

"This was more fun than pop rocks and soda pop," he thought as he strolled back up the line of nervous applicants. "7 was a lucky number, right?" he thought, savoring the quiet

The old floorboards creaked under his considerable weight. Grumbling and muttering under his breath about the

The light was dim and though she tried desperately to read the untidy hastened words on the grubby piece of paper, it was to no avail. Her eyes were straining in the dim light.