I hate taking sleeping pills. Apparently, I get up in the middle of the pm and buy stuff from Infomercials. I only know this bc today, I received a HarryPotter ninja sword.Yesterda

There she was. Wentl. A perfect little O of green fur, her tail wrapped demurely around her pink, scaly nose. Dgorf didn't want to wake her, so he

Vaughn died tonight in his final go-kart crash. Distracted by the sinister eyes of Trump peering out from the massive billboard looming above the track, he pressed the accelerator

www.confessionalbooth.com: He set up a website with a drop box for uploading anonymous files and made it public. Two hrs later the first file was waiting.

You gotta know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away.

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a beautiful young woman who was very sad and lonely

Thus it came to pass that the earth purged the monkey creatures. But before she did she asked the last surviving man why he should be allowed to persist. Luckily that last manling

"This licence is not valid for an oversized vehicle on Mars. Please step out of the rover Mr. Jeng." The alien pointed a glowing rod at him. Yen woke up in a cold sweat.

Halloween was the only day of the year Herman actually enjoyed. It was the only time people wouldn't take one look at him and run away screaming. He fit in at Halloween. So when

He looked at her and whispered, "Let's bob for apples, shall we?"

His life was a simmering stew of chainsaws, beef jerky and wrong answers. That's why he was so happy when

I was walking around in the city of Brazil when I stopped to go on a tour in the Amazon that my friend had told me about. The tour guide had asked me questions for no reason.

It was a new day, with a new mission. My name is Agent P and I had to defeat the evil Dr. Doofensmerts and his new super evil evil machine. We got a tip that the machine

We gotta find Dad. We gotta find Jessica's killer. In 1835, Samuel Colt made a special gun. They say this gun can kill anything. I've been having dreams. Sometimes they come true.

I saw my cat eat a black water vole leaving nothing but its green spleen. That vole is an endangered species. Should I shop my cat for illegal between meal snacks?

What? There's no story with 'perambulation' in it? The town of 'Where's Flint?' was founded by Judge Flint who set out on a perambulation of it's borders never to return.

I had barely survived a Toxoplasma Gonzii infection, only to have bookworms infect my brain. I danced recklessly over cars during rush hour, lured by paper dust and deckled edges,

Tiffany put on her hot red dress & favorite perfume. She was so excited about their Valentine's day date, but when Brad took her to the Wastewater Treatment Plant in Brooklyn

"Bah, I don't believe a word of it! You must be outta your mind to think a god would speak to a mortal such as yourself. You're not even a noble!" Callus shook his head. " I did. I

The Percussionist kept cold beer in his kettledrums. A 3rd row violinist slept her way to first violin. When he caught himself saying "good enough for the Nutcracker" he threw his