I wasn't cut out to be a Teppanyaki chef. My flaming onion volcanoes collapsed, my jokes fell flat, and on multiple occasions I damaged a child's eye with an errant shrimp toss or

The crossing of the two dogflowers was a huge mistake. A zen mastet documented

...and that's a wrap!" The director lit his stogie. Another one for Red Box. He was the maverick who made all the cheap knock-offs. He just finished "Hungry Games" and now he

"It was Mr. Green, ruefully, in the dope Lounge with the ostentatious rope," I accused. The Clue: Adverbs and Adjectives expansion pack was challenging. I checked the case envelope

What? There's no story with 'perambulation' in it? The town of 'Where's Flint?' was founded by Judge Flint who set out on a perambulation of it's borders never to return.

Does it defeat the point of folding story to always try to make sense?

www.confessionalbooth.com: He set up a website with a drop box for uploading anonymous files and made it public. Two hrs later the first file was waiting.

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. And my brain is composed of trillions of little links. I needed to get smarter quick so I set out to kill of a few billion weak links

Thus it came to pass that the earth purged the monkey creatures. But before she did she asked the last surviving man why he should be allowed to persist. Luckily that last manling

“Apology accepted, Captain Needa.” Said Captain Tebow. Needa was the rookie from Wisconsin who was co-Captain with Tebow in today's scrimmage against

“Your wonton will freeze before you reach the first marker.” said his co-worker at the Panda Express factory. But his friend was in giant freezer, “Then I’ll see you in Hell!”

"Helloooo Newman!" says Jerry as Newman barges through his apartment door. "Did you hear what happened Jerry?"

I'd worked my way from snails up to frogs legs. My friend Gaston smiled winningly."It tastes best raw. Cooking ze Foie Gras eez tragique". I swallowed. Next stop the parasitologist

Galaxy 5QX was dying. Its suns were faded; its tiny beloved worlds were frozen and barren. 5QX exerted itself and its flickering stars sang the swan song that called the Recyclers

Every strum seemed to have an effect on the nature of our existence, our outlooks, and our world. We hit a C chord, sending pulsations though the foliage, vibrating in our souls.

Dan, Melilda, and Walter meet in the breakroom at 10am each weekday. They each eat a donut and tell an off-color sexual joke. Sometimes, other coworkers share the breakroom. Is

"Yeah, there are listening devices in those little white beeper things." Said Ted. "You mean they're listening in on us?" The Barrista's felt naked

a little pebble named peb wanted to find his soul mate, but unbeknownst to peb a BIG storm was rolling in over the garden where peb had lived most of his life since leaving the

The Disco Ball was taken out of the sieve. They placed the sieve on David's head. David was strapped into the electric chair. He was given the switch so that he could self

"And now I can check off Princess Leia," I said, studying my list of Comic-Conquests. Next up was Neytiri from Avatar. I stuffed a cucumber into my R2D2 suit and trudged along, unt