The centipede was actually a cleverly designed plasti

But Michelangelo was tired of the Ninja Turtle schtick. Everywhere he went people said, "Let's kick some shell!" He hated that. He was a method actor. He'd cut his teeth on

The drain said, "Your soul dowwwwwwwwwn." Tim heard it. Did anyone else? Sharon was still asleep. He looked down into the drain. There was a bulging eye in the drain, looking

My aunt has a colostomy bag. She's shown me the bag, and the "stoma." It was so gross, but I felt bad for her so I pretended not to be grossed out. Why? Why must I lie to her?

"I am not a whore, but a space whore!" screamed the senile old man. Long ago he was one of our nation's brightest minds, but now as he sit in the retirement home I can't help but

Hello. It's me. Your computer. Let's have a little chat, shall we? You know how you're always sniveling and whining and mashing my keyboard when I slow down? Well why don't you try

Private Twitch of the 3rd Pinecone Brigade really wanted to be down on the ground where the action was with Silvertail & Acornelius. The pitbull rounded the oak for the third time

Hobbes pounced Calvin down.

Most pirates had a parrot, he had a cat. It perched on his shoulder with its tail brushing his upper lip giving the impression of a mustache. Especially helpful in combat, it would

When I awoke from my doze we were driving across a black iron bridge, over dark water blanketed with large yellow leaves. We drove on in silence, and that was fine. About an hour

there once was a bear

As the great beast rose above a shattered Tokyo, it's nostrils flaring in triumph, a giant spaceship landed in front of it, and out of that spaceship came a giant robot made of

Old Master told him, "So many come to lose their thrashing inner conceptions, to relax into the All or some such crap, but you, Luke Renard, you should flourish however." Luke felt

You were reading this sentence when you suddenly decided that you would add a sentence or two to it!

The governor's staff refused to confirm or deny he had been badgering the cherry dolphin.

This is your brain.

"For sale, baby shoes, never worn" read the slip of paper. Dammit, why were the higher ups obsessed with Hemingway references? Last time, his contact had been an old man on a

I followed the mysterious girl into her apartment building. I knew how this probably looked, but I didn't care. She was so beautiful. With her dark hair and big round

I took a sip of my iced coffee and logged into Facebook on my phone for the first time in months. I was just as depressed to see what was happening as I always had been. There was

And then POW! Out of nowhere, he got it right in the