"Arthur...ARTHUR..." she croaked. Arthur wouldn't answer. He hated her. Hated her voice, hated her face, hated everything about her. In general, he hated all frogs and this was

He was hot, she was fugly, together they made

Somehow, the Universal Monsters had made it onto the ballot, and the day after Election Day, the world was shocked to find that America had voted the Creature from the Black Lagoon

Senator Alistair Jumba and his relatives had ruled Jumba Jumba Land for centuries. So when the Boku Toku Party gained control of parliament, he immediately plotted to have them all

My phone number is 1. Just 1. If you want to call me, just press that number and I will answer any questions you might have.

The ship in a bottle was found in the hold of a three master submerged near the rocky coast off Valparaiso. Curiously the bottle was filled with an unknown spirit. Morton uncorked

"OK, say this three times as fast as you can: One smart fellow and he felt smart. Two smart fellow and they felt smart. Three smart fellows and they all felt smart."

The interrogator slammed his fist down, causing the metal table between us to tremble. "Where have you hidden the bodies?!" His patience was wearing thin.

After the initial horror then embarrassment, Agent Chalmers was proud of his Zip Drive, installed after a urogenital incident on a field mission. The Chalmers Estate supplied him w

He was the Master Baster. Yes, king of the buttery birds, lord of the plump poultry. And no one, NO ONE would ever guess his secret.

The protosoul received a bottle containing one bitter pill. The prescription read "To be taken before birth on an empty stomach. Side effects. nausea, boredom, depression, death."

I have a great idea for a business for anyone who is unemployed. I call it "The Erotic Soup Company" and all you need is a hotplate, a pot, water, a spoon, and a street corner.

The jeans fit like a 2nd skin, holes & worn patches just right. The label read: Priscilla's Preworne Fashion. In the pocket Jill found a note "Preworn by PW#3: 310 616-0139."

Health consequences aside, and speaking purely in terms of calorie/dollar efficiency, it's clear that the best food currently available is

He opened the press and added the ink. Using her skin at the poster board was a sparkling little inspiration he'd gotten when she bent over to get the meatloaf out of the

Doris looked dubiously over at Floyd, who was out on the dance floor. "And this...one," he panted, "is called...the flying kielbasa..." His noticeably sweaty armpits looked like

"Most wizards are gay, that's why I wanted to touch your knee." said the old sorcerer. "When you signed up to be my apprentice, making yourself available was in the small print"..

They crinkled their noses, wondering what could make the room smell like this. Sally walked in and almost puked. There in the corner of the room was

I have to do something about this flatulence - once cup of chili a week ago and I am still deadly. If this keeps up I'm never going to get a date. Hmmm, I wonder if Beano will

For a limited time only! The Turgid Stoat 2000 Personal Fortress now includes a flame thrower attachment, water restistance, an AK 47 attachment, night vision, rape whistle,