If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is

I sat in my room staring down at my hands, soaked in deep crimson blood. I looked up again and then thought to myself, "What have I done?"

"The 3rd person plural present active subjunctive of the verb do, dare - or what you get when a shopping cart hits your car." Who thinks these things up, thought Marty. It's like

On his fiesta red plate was a hard-boiled egg, a stalk of celery, and a jar of mayo. The Garçon made a sweeping motion "Oui, Egg Salad Deconstructed. Bon Appetit!"

Kharma is after me!

"This is amazing!" I whispered as I stepped through the first door. I emerged into a lush forest, bird songs and animal chatter filled my ears as I continued on. It was beautiful,

Off in a wayward arm of an ordinary spiral galaxy a rather drab G class star thought itself chic because it sported an asteroid belt but its planets all had noneccentric orbits

The tea had long since gone cold, but I didn't want to get up and reheat it.

Professor Gabriel Emerson stood in the doorway of his study, hands in his pockets, gazing on his wife with no little heat. His tall, athletic form was striking, as were his rugged

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago,

"The Great Titted Warbler" was a flop. Duncan was crestfallen his DriveIn for Birdwatchers didn't fly. His seedy agent Hackensmoot said "Birdwatching can sell. Depends on the birds

As i walk through the valley where i harvest my grain i take a look at my wife and realize.........

Engaging with people in the window, a solo Castrati rings out a sinful bleat,

Time for lunch!

zobologist was testing the hypothesis that zombies just needed to wake up & smell the coffee. Needless to say he was suprised when the diner chairs filled up with headless zombies!

I packed my ba

The crooner was ruining the ambiance around my chicken tenders. "I never had a pa/ Just a picture of U.S. President William Howard Taft and ma," he sang. That would explain

"People like blood sausages too. People are morons!" "Darling, I forgot to mention my dad is a butcher.""Damn right, kiddo. Best Bangers in the Burrows." "Did I say morons? I meant

Desperate for mockery, I head for the hives. I cry out "Dear bees! Did you know you can tell a tree's age by counting the rings inside its trunk?" I can sense the honey boiling in

Channel 11 News: Live on scene. "Today Santa Clause has been arrested." The News Reporter said. "It all started at the parade.."