The crowded cheered and he basked in the glow of success. When they started chanting "speech speech" his handlers tried moving him off the balcony, but it was too late: "My fellow

To be immortal, Anna tried to reduce herself to something abstract: 13. You can't kill 13. Anna walked under ladders on Fridays, then broke mirrors with black cats, but that caused

Ginger didn't fit in to the cogwheel community of Meticulotopia, from her red locks & freckles to her bare feet. One day she stole a pony and rode to the land of floating hillocks

She goes crazy for Gomez's hamburger.

And might come potatoes not with rain, though. This is enevitably four for five wouldn't, alas, mixed toasts have rights. But on the bean with the rain is not what was thought by

You complain about the rain, but secretly, you adore it.

The Monroes were a strange family. We called them the 'Munsters'. They had a zombie doorstop that tried to grab you when you rang their skull knocker. But a dare was a dare

I shrugged with every fiber of my being.. Finally the big fat hairy smelly sweaty greasy carbuncle-covered weight was off my shoulders.

The sound that came from the loudspeakers started to feel like a stream of happiness, honey and marshmallows, and It was flowing directly into my thirsty ears. That was no "aspirin

Dear Abby, Why does my Venus Flytrap plant keep grabbing at the zipper on my trousers? - Baffled Botanist in Boston

"Diaries are kept by men: strong brushstrokes on smooth mulberry paper, gathered into sheaves and tied with ribbon and placed in a lacquered box."

Writing stories is like giving birth. Some stories slip out nice& easy. Others need a bit of pain medication & some pushing. Still others require the barbaric use of forceps. This

If recent history is a decent indicator, my day will probably go something like this: Wake up to kids fighting. Yell at them until they eat their cereal. Drive older boy to school,

I wonder how many fingernails sit undigested in my stomach from all the times I absently gnawed them from my fingers? I'm certainly adding to the collection right now...Waiting for

The team of painters that I hired played a punch buggy variant called "punch bucket", which led to colorful misbrushings all over my living room. My dog was covered in streaks of

"Did you hear the one..." and off he went telling me again for the third time the joke about the pastor who played sick on a Sunday and golfed his best game. Punch line, "and God

Willow, Yentna, Skwentna, Finger, Rainy, Ronin, Niki, McGrath, Tako, Ophir, Idita, Shag, Anvik, Gray, Eagle, Kaltag, Una, Shaktoo, Koyuk, Elim, Golo, Whitey & Nome were her dogs

They set off at once to find Semolina Pilchard, but were interrupted in Galveston when, stopping for gas, they were accosted by a man selling squirrel ambergris and subsequently

The police broke into what they thought was a meth lab, but were surprised to find a guy in dark blue robes and a pointy hat holding a glowing alembic. "The Philosopher's

Time to start. Pencils - check. Scrap paper - check. Form 1040A and instructions - check. 3d6 - check. Set of miniatures and map board - check. Box of Girl Scout cookies -