I attached this roller skate to this severed triceratops head precisely for an event such as this. Why it's perfect for

The calliope stopped playing. They turned their red noses to the batwing doors. A buffoon snarled, "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to bring a creampie to a seltzer fight?"

I poured my heart into that letter. Didn't hold back a thing and it scared me to death. I folded it up into a paper airplane and sent it across the pond. It arrived

Would you rather produce earwax so quickly it falls out of your ears every minute OR have a constant "wet spot" in the crotch of your pants?

"Hi Mo, I'd like a special. Can you mix up 1 finger each of Pernod, Jagermeister, Robitussin, & Bacardi 151 and light it?" "Sure, you want that with a Azodicarbonamide sandwich?"

Tiffany's nails were getting quite badly scuffed, still she had no option but to try and make herself as small as possible and just hold on, not for the first time that day did she

"Calories should be conserved, not wasted! Always take the elevator. Use a drive-in or have food delivered." Big Bob lowered the remote. Adi Johnson's late night infomercial

I'd agreed to give up my independence to be a part of the historic Human Supercomputer project. Our brains were linked together in series and questions were fed into our cortex.

During the school holidays Uncle Benny took his nephews and nieces to Pissweak World. At Pissweak world the attractions consisted of

I can’t decide who is Trump’s Himmler. Steven Miller was the front runner for a long time. Now I have to admit it might turn out to be Barr. Miller is still way in front but not a

"It's a show about a guy who leaps into different bodies... I've called it Quantum Leap." I said. The TV execs eyed me suspiciously like they'd heard it all before. "It's new...

In a subway station I spied a cardboard box scrawled with 'Eddies Odorific Theatre'. A holey sock puppet appeared in a cutout section and a high pitched voice announced "Presenting

Tuesday book store from a parallel universe popped into existence near work. I went in to peruse their wares, books such as Salmon Rustie's "The Slavonic Purses", "The Unbearable

Let's talk about things taken out of context for a second. For example, if you were employed, & your paid job was to blow on a fire to keep it stoked, would you say you had a good

To-do list: 1.Start doing a list hoping it will go somewhere nice and become something.

"Grandpa, did you ever have sex?" "Well, Willie, if remember correctly the last time I wet my whistle it was at the drive-in.about 1955 with your Grandma during..." "Wiillard, shut

Stan, Hell's silliest little demon, decided to take a vacation off from work. But the little silliest demon had not a clue where to go on vacation to! This was a pickle.

Weeks before Christmas, I was still clueless on what to get my wife. My plan to secure a rare bottle of Pizza Hut Perfume, so she could smell like fresh bread and spices failed me.

"W-w-what d-does he eat?" "Strays mostly. Cats, dogs, hobos and the like." I petted my dragon with pride as my friends cowered in the corner. They were but pawns in my epic fantasy

The fewer the submarine crews the better the