She ran her hands through her hair, breathed deeply, winked, and said, "

I tried to keep my eye on the sparrow, but now I was looking at a moth circling an interrogation lamp. "You were looking at the moon, weren't you, but you were not thinking of me."

Somehow, I'm the one who gets cornered into explaining to a 70-year-old lady what the term "donkey punch" means (she asked). Then, everyone is pissed because I told her the truth.

"Grand Moff Tarkin," said the wheezy one. "Please advise the kitchen crew that your Dark Lord would like something other than Spam Imperial Tacos now and then." Tarkin's cheekbones

"Most wizards are gay, that's why I wanted to touch your knee." said the old sorcerer. "When you signed up to be my apprentice, making yourself available was in the small print"..

A coffee mug flew across the room, crashing against the kitchen wall. The pots & pans rattled overhead while the oven door open & closed repeatedly. My kitchen was haunted by

"This sentence is no nonsense for this nonsense is no sentence." The purple hatted wizard proudly read to the group of confuzzled young lads.

Flying through the air , is the best feeling in the world i mean what can compare to it? Besides eat a peanut-butter and jelly sandwhich but other than that i can fly all day and

Where do you go? What do you do the night after you save the universe?” Especially if nobody even knows you did? Walt knew. He went to the only dive in NYC where he could

Seamus was actively guarding Roxanne to avoid being cuckolded. When Todd approached he used a deceptive alarm call to disrupt the extrapair copulation attempt toward his mate.

Once apon a time there lived a small child that had only one eye. Her name was Beth. She was always so happy and appriciated life.

She woke up slowly, blinking away tears. It was still dark out. She heard nothing, but that was expected. It had been years since the world had frozen around her. The only

INTEROFFICE MEMO

"Umm, uh, well, ah, 12?" "12?! 12?! What the hell is the matter with you! 12?! I can't believe this. You must be crazy. I ask you

"Das Schnabeltier ist ein eierlegendes Säugetier aus Australien. Das Schnabeltier gilt als ein lebendes Fossil." Horst seine Augenlieder schlossen sich. Er träumte das er ein Ei

Welcome to Purgatory Diner, sir. If you pay with your Purity Card, you will eventually earn enough rewards points for a flight to heaven. If it interests you, today's special is

I'm anti matter.

At 11;47 am on a Tuesday, all the mimes in the world stopped in their tracks and began to migrate to New Zealand. Thousands drowned on the sea-leg of their journey, puddles of

I knew it was a mistake as soon as I

The door opened in the ancient Abbey. The highly respected figure did not appear. Instead, there was a collective gasp as Tony Blair Witch entered