"I did not hit her...Oh hi Mark!"

Joe's bud opens the door for him as Joe stated in shock "man, I slept on the bus and when I woke up there was this big whole, made with scissors on my jeans. Who made it? Why? How?

So naturally, I installed a big gong in the living room, complete with suspended log.

Hi, Nice job last night - here are the lyrics to the FINALE When you see a guy, reach for stars in the sky You can bet that he's doin it for some doll

Looking for a good time? Here, take this giant stick and whack that miniature ball waaay over there into that tiny hole. Good, good. Now try it with a BAC of 2.4 and a huge lake in

The man on the video monitor was definitely Travis. Same goofy red hair, coke bottle glasses, and clothes two sizes too big. But how was that possible? Travis was

Bog and his moose knuckle like ice cream

I hadn't thought it them for years. Horned Toads. Then today I saw one in the back yard. first I though of one and then I saw one. Did the thought make it happen or pre-deja view.

The best meal I ever ate was

Scooby-dooby-do,yabba-dabba-doo,and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious where the first words Jack learned.Not only the first words he spoke,no.The first words he wrote,spelled and

He showed up at her door with a bouquet of roses and knocked. The door opened & there she stood, her blue eyes widened in surprise. "I'm sorry," he said with a smile. "What are you

The tirade of all the athletes occurred during transgressions of inter-disparity amongst those which applaud. Now in possession of self worth, my dream of

I'm not gonna give much to work with...Let's just say that

Once upon a time a green chicken named Effie went into town to meet her friend Marge for lunch. On her way there Effie tripped over the milk duck.

Everest - the highest point in the world. A place to truly contemplate the meaning of life. I stared out at the magnificent sunset when.. CLUNK! an oxygen tank hit the back of my h

...as you can see, compared to space and time, we are but small blips. However, since we can perceive the vastness, our brains encompass the universe. Taco?

On a much-deserved date with the spouse at a new place. New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" is playing in the background.

Her skin had the texture, color, and scent of a perfectly roasted marshmallow. Her hair was like a sheet of black plastic and her eyes were green diamonds. I held

Evaporated cane syrup. Really? You think we are dumb enough at this co-op to not know that this is sugar? Gluten-free? Milk-free? Fat-free? Is there anything left in this food?

"I'm saying YES to this dress!" Susan cried, throwing her arms in the air & twirling around. I tried to smile, but honestly, it was the most god-awful wedding dress I'd ever seen.