Five dollars and a baloney sandwich. That's all I need to

As I scavanged through my list of 256 facebook 'friends' to find a single, hot girl, I came across someone I didn't expect to find in facebook, my

Somewhere in Australia a fish crossed with a toad is playing a game. He is not sure he is playing it right and his contributions are nonsensical, and not always sensible.

The killer wasp hovered over his head like a demonic vulture inspecting his prey. The look of digust on the wasps featureless face was evident. It clancked its vicious pincers.

The day the Shunned struck back, a checkout scanner sneered at Mildred Dowd and said "Your record is too clean. We don't serve Squeakies like you." Mildred had her sword-cane, but

I saw what I did that morning at the diner had caused a ripple that came back to hit me just now by her slamming the door in my face. "It was only a cup of coffee".

The male mile-or-more-bird flies backwards and whistles through his ass making a sound that can be heard for a mile or more. Thus his name. When he is trying to attract a mate he

When I got the job at Apple in IT or something, they gave me a tiny egg box & said I could store my eggs in the staff fridge in the kitchenette for a rainy day. The egg harvester

I'm not into this at all listening day day day day

Periwinkle;Perry was never an angry girl.But she was angry now!Someone sent her flowers.A huge bouquet of periwinkles left at her door and inside,a black scorpion and a card:"Next

And when The Raven unwound in my room, I gave the yarn I'd stored:

Entrepreneurs increase their wealth, governers their power and the learned revel in their vast knowledge, but you are here to better the condition of humanity and its cousins,

Nancy Reagan sat in her chair and had a damned cigarette. After all the work she'd done to help average idiots she had earned a smoke. She blew a smokering at the phot of Michelle

Tonight we're rockin the house with a battle for the ages. NINJA POPE. NINJA TURTLE. its gonna be HUGE!

Holy hand grenades Batman! That is a LOT of potatoes! What in the wide wide world of sports are you planning to do with such a ridiculously large mountain of

The Orchids had a fragrance that would make someone fall in love with the next person they laid eyes on. But Eric had no idea about the flower's power, he

"This should sort your addiction." Said the doctor as he dangled the carrot in front of Nate's eyes. Hand-cuffing him to the chair, he said "Give it a few days and you'll be sick o

The language exposed his church-going nature and he finished and departed in record time. Not quite light out, but out of time for donuts, Mrs. O went back inside to collect

Renee walked away from me and I was never so glad. Now I could get on with my life. Getting out of my relationship (if that's what you'd call it) with Renee took some doing, but

2 plates, 4 plates, 5 plates, 6. "Hey Jim! Betcha can't add another!" Jim loaded another plate on each side of the bar. All the patrons of Big Jim's Iron City gaped. "GRRRRAAAAHH!"