There really was a house that ate children in my neighborhood. Every year, two or three would disappear, always around the same house, always around the month of November, right

"What we have here, gentlemen, is a failure of wit." The airport brainscans showed massive cerebral erosion with activity in the brainstem only. "So why is he still at large?"

What a stupid thing, Fate. The fact that this guy, whose head was about to be blown off by me, would start lecturing me about it, was just unbelievable! Fate was a stupid thing.

Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding. Ding. Ding-a-ling.

I am a beetle.

Chernov fumed. "Oh sure, don't worry, the asteroid will miss us by thousands of miles -- but then they get the transit time wrong by several hours?!! What kind of

Roberta sat in the boardroom, trembling in her designer dress. Had her brilliant deception been uncovered or was the boss about to give her a

Franklin laid some rifts on his glass harmonica. The French Ladies-in-Waiting were swooning to his clever slides. Ben crooned "Anybody want a revolution, baby?" Adams sneered.

My favorite pass-time as Management Coordinator was to pair up two pain-in-the-butt Techs with each other on an impossible task with urgent deadline. I'd give clients their cell #

Once upon a time when all the walri were nearly dead and the cat ran away with the spoon the sniper took out his sandwich and began to eat. Suddenly he heard the sound of a

Amanda Widdershins pined for the farmhouse where she was born and the fields where she played. Her apartment was nice by modern standards, but too flat and geometric and un

if i had a million dollars, i would

Shiva was a god who really like dancing I have been a rare goddess that he has not been romancing

Dear Cosmo, I've got a friend, a really good friend and I've just discovered that my friend has got another friend. What should I do?

Sitting in the pavement. Holding my head as if it was going to drop. I tried to grasp the situation I'm in. Five minutes ago I was a normal person with a family. Now all I have is

One day, a gruff Italian man strode out of his house to find a pile of dog shit in his front yard. Now, with the full knowledge that he hadn't a dog, he made the quick decision to

The Sisters Snope collected folk sayings for cultural research like the Brother's Grimm. For example 'Beans beans good for the heart, the more you eat, the more you fart, the more

A Lad's Story "Hey bro guess what bro i got me new tns this morn bro oh my god bro they are like fully sick bro" "Awww bro that is so coool bro i wishes i was like you bro" " "

One, ordinary, evening was about to fold in on itself, and this is how it started. I was feeding the dragon it's daily human sacrifice when

Fred walked hesitantly into The Spot, a nightclub he'd learned of from mysterious Madame X. He was wary, but then he spotted Big Bob from accounting, and LaRonda sipping a cosmo.