Once committed to being unpredictable, there was no turning forward. Ha! Thought I was going to say "back, didn't you? Enumerating is nix. Using proper nouns OUT. Hanging from my

ive just learned about the monkey jesus. seems this was some 80 year old spanish chick's attempt at restoring a piece of art in her church. i will totally be this chick when im 80.

Rebellion? I go on a hunting trip for 5 hours, and they start a rebellion? Maybe this rabbit with an arrow in its head will placate the populace. Squire, fetch the royal megaphone.

Superman's "Pal" Jimmy Olsen-Iss.934"Golly!" said Jimmy, "By my new weight-loss superpowers, I've tricked Supes into killing Lois! Now I can sell his secret ident for Crazodiamonds

Lookin' at cleavage is like lookin' at the sun. You don't stare at it! It's too risky! You get a sense of it and then you look away, or you wear some dark glasses. Your blind

Being an on-the-scenes reporter is tough enough, but with as many restraining orders as I have, it's nearly impossible. "As you can see, 501 feet behind me, the new animal hospital

She woke up in the early morning and suddenly realized it was the day she had been dreading for what seemed like her entire life.

The Tacoma's rear wheels skidded and fought for traction against the red earth of Diablo Canyon. A half moon shed light on the bits of falling rock. Then a loud 'thump' followed

"You're a wealthy man now, aren't you Nate?" Asked Sheila, "What do you do with all your money?". Nate said, "Carrots."

hello, how are you? hhhh nnnn

Hero, my little Ugandan friend, was the Grand Marshall for a New Year's Day Parade.

As a method actor, he was having a difficult time passing off as a little league shortstop with his 280 pound girth

The vast systems of caves dug into the cliffs were 33 miles northwest of DeMoines. No one knew what

'This might seem obvious, but it's important, son. I don't want you ever shooting me in the leg again. It's very painful for me, and no, I'm not going to raise my voice, but if you

It was the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

So he looked across the room like he had somewhere to go. He had to commit to a destination. An important destination. It was the only way to avoid talking to his friend.

I am an imposter. I can admit that now, but on that fateful Chrstmas Eve so long ago, ringing my bell & smiling benevolently at anyone willing to drop a few coins in my red kettle,

On his fiesta red plate was a hard-boiled egg, a stalk of celery, and a jar of mayo. The Garçon made a sweeping motion "Oui, Egg Salad Deconstructed. Bon Appetit!"

As i walk through the valley where i harvest my grain i take a look at my wife and realize.........

Beryl examined her toast carefully and carefully nibbled around the image of Princess Diana burnt into its crisp surface.