I turned on the traditional yule log on my UHF station. There was the bright fire crackling with light carols playing in the background. Suddenly, feet stumbled across the screen.

Felix Underbutton danced in the spring air. He twirled down Aspen Lane, the scent of Beatrice's hand filling him with joy. But the small, swarthy gentleman respected her marriage a

The Brothers Grozny went their separate ways. Ero developed starships, Arno became a DJ-shaman, and Barto suffered in poverty until he could walk between worlds, as Granny Grozna a

Due to tribal social pressures, I have agreed to publicly celebrate the pair-bond relationship with my mate. I have prepared an offering of severed plant genitalia, dyed wood pulp,

Spam Baby wanted a Creamsicle, but nobody in this dimension had ever heard of one.

The alluring appeal of alliteration rendered Ed's eulogy effectively illiterate. The congregation cringed as Ed began: "Bob began banging busty Broadway broads before beginning big

The statue of Phatty McButterpants is proudly displayed on my parents fireplace mantel. It's an embarrassing story, but since I've gotten you this far, I'll tell you. Phatty was my

kaydee the ninja started to run the pizza parlor his children, 7 foster, 3 adopted, 6 born, 4 guirdaned and 4 animals aka pet puppies. he was ninja pizza man, saving the world!

He looked at them, torn. A blonde, a brunette and a raven-haired beauty. They all gazed at him in expectation, waiting for him to choose one of them. He knits his brow and finally

I have to include my part of the science report before the conference began!

"So you like those fake plastic beach ball type hooters?" "What do they call your boobs? Broken ballast tanks?" "We'll at least my manboobs are organically grown." "Puff daddy!"

"It's not a TUBAH!" shouted the Austrian botanist. "It's a drupe!"

Let me see if I can phrase this better. "Vertical Line, forward-slash, vertical line, space, circle." Can you take a hint? Morse code: dah-dit dah-dah-dah. Got it?

Miral opened her closet to a dead body falling out. She screamed, and turned the body around, and realized it was

My management philosophy consists of hiring complete imbeciles and then riding herd on every last little thing that they do to make sure that they don't screw it up too badly. This

Papa Smurf had fallen in love, I mean summer camp level "in love" with Red Riding Hood when she came skipping through the forest. She'd smashed his mushroom house but

"Que tu es un casse couille!" She was 4'11", sandy blond. "You're so sexy when you speak french," I murmured. Actually, French was her first and only language. And I was pretty sur

Jeff O'Rama, Irish, ex-cop, now PI. Cocktail: Soft White Russian (Milk of Magnesia, vodka). New case: Murder. Cops botched investigation. A woman, a professor, in a purple top coat

"That was moment!" He loudly exclaimed "and you ruined it!" He finished, as he dashed off and began to sob

So what's the point? Have the most thrills? Amass wealth & power? Leave as many progeny as possible? No answer. Is it to work earnestly? Sacrifice what's precious? Discover the unk