As I drew my last breath, Images of the horrors I had created, of the lies and deceit I had inflicted upon innocent people, flooded my mind. I had been a news anchorman for over 40

Swollen tropical raindrops fell from Bozo's eyes onto the pavement as he was thrown to the ground and cuffed. His wig was askew, makeup smeared, but from the wet splatters arose

Their giggling was maddening. He didn't know how much more he could take. Like irregular clockwork, their choked laughter disrupted the rhythm of his otherwise very well planned da

I think I write about food a bit too much.

Daddo, Jimmy told me thaa-aat Sss-aanta (gulp) iisn't for ree-eal. Tu-tell hu-him, Dadd-o... tttu-tell him th-hat's nuh-not tu-TRUE!

The corner of her mouth curves up slightly as she slides her hand over mine. Her hand is warm. My skin tingles where she touches me, sending shivers up my spine and warmth

It was only yesterday that the sky erupted, but it felt like years. Looking up I knew that time itself may be about to end, but I also knew that I had had a hand in it. You see, I

But once she walked into the light, suddenly, she could see all.

I love transformers! They call me Lockdown. Once you see my face you know its the end.

She was fat, old and smoking. Perched on her dias, which was her 2nd floor balcony. Every morning, a 30 oz bloody mary stirred with a chopstick was breakfast. She insulted any

Garth never like Jimi Hendrix. Honestly. He knew Hendrix's guitar skills were really good. But he had never drove around listening to Hendrix. He listened mostly out of fear that

"How dare you disrespect cow folk! We are among the most intelligent members of the ungulate family." "Cudchewers farts is messing up the weather. I hear a bald monkey say so."

"Why did you pick that color?" she sighed. "It's gun metal" I said. "The color of guns and metal. It's kind of manly..." I explained. "I wanted a white wedding dress" she sobbed

"Don't scream!" He shouted as he pressed the gun up to her head. "It hurts you more than it hurts me." He laid on top of her and proceeded with his dirty deed. She continued to cry

Not a good idea. A moose in the international space station. It stood, nay floated in unity node 1. its antlers were wedged in a ventilator panel and the only Canadian astronaut

As a method actor, he was having a difficult time passing off as a little league shortstop with his 280 pound girth

I climbed over the balcony noiselessly...tiptoed to the sliding glass doors and slipped in...a single silent mission on my mind. I had come to steal the artichoke dip.

We got up so early that even mirrors are not working. We take a shower and revived. It was not so very cold. Smell the air was good. We were alone on the Grand Canal.

I meant WEED, not WEEDS. Arrrgguuuhhh!

Rebellion? I go on a hunting trip for 5 hours, and they start a rebellion? Maybe this rabbit with an arrow in its head will placate the populace. Squire, fetch the royal megaphone.