I climbed over the balcony noiselessly...tiptoed

I climbed over the balcony noiselessly...tiptoed to the sliding glass doors and slipped in...a single silent mission on my mind. I had come to steal the artichoke dip.

But then, with my arm outstretched to grab Harvey's can of dip, I stepped on a half eaten bag of chips. "çRuŊ¢H!!" Harvey's massive bloated form shuddered like a pudding quake and

and I almost tossed my cookies, but I swallowed it down because the creature was still out there. In the dark. This tunnel felt like a tomb. I heard something sloshing off to my

left, but when I looked it was just a giant man-eating slimeball. No biggie. I combined my cookies into a cookie sword, sliced the slime down, and continued down the tunnel looking

pleased with myself. I was peckish so nibbled at my cookie sword. A dragon round the corner ate my sword and the lower part of my right arm. I stared in amazement at the stump

that didn't hurt. My foggy brain told me that I should be experiencing pain, but I was not feeling anything. My mind was quickly fogging into a state of unconsciousness only

staved off from a staple I had saved. But then I started to think bands didn't even staple flyers to telephone poles anymore. I tried to fight the fog, but it was spylords vs demon

that foggy, late September night. I decided that I was going to staple flyers to telephone poles, I mean, isn't that how Guns N' Roses and bands like that got their start? I staple

d a bunch of posters for my upcoming band to telephone poles when all of a sudden the poles uprooted themselves. I realized now that Nhok'ia, Lord of Telephones, had returned to

collect on her diminishing returns. The wired deities of yore couldn't keep up. Their desolated monoliths litter the landscape, portending a future that will never come.