SnowWhite decided she needed to improve her sex life.The Prince wouldn't even hear once she brought up the dwarfs,so she tried a different approach:she asked Aurora for Carabosse'

I know a girl whos obsessed with a guy , she talks gor hours and still tomorrow she calls again , and when he thinks this could be the end .. she calls again at 6 in the morning ,

After reading about how starving fruit flies and nematodes made them live longer, I decided to try extending the longevity of

"I'm so 'the life of the party' that my own cats think I'm inanimate." I started this dating profile as a joke; now it was just sad. I needed someone with a compatible joke profile

Nick knew something was wrong when he entered his house and saw a stranger sleeping on the floor with only undergarments, which was barely covering his private regions.

Archer, Alice Alexis Ann, aimed an arrow at adolescent actress and amazing acrobat, Amy Allybob Absalom. But Billy Baxter Buttercup, brilliant brave boyfriend blocked

Having found two quarters and a nickel back in '07, I could never break the habit of checking the coin return on pay phones. I pushed the door open with my index finger and felt

Forty years of service, and this is how it ends; facedown in a ditch. Lewie Zappa had always been a harsh man, but leaving behind his best man (me, not Frank, screw frank) would be

"To one half-cup whiskey add three drams elderberry tincture. Stir widdershins by the light of a harvest moon. Pour over glacial snow in a cup carved by no man's hand."

The 1 phrase of Flemish my boyfriend knew was: "You have beautiful breasts." I didn't ask how he'd picked that one up. My phrase was "2 hundred grams of Emmenthal, please."

“How do you know where I was. Were you stalking me?”Luke asked. “Boys make a lot of sounds like a lovesick Minotaur!”Thalia laughed.

Stickman's parachute didn't open.

I peeked out of the window. The situation was worse today. It got worse with every day. I quickly shut the window as some onlookers began to onlook at my sparkly pyjamas. I

The electric sheep hummed loudly in the corner. This disturbed the dog, evident by his raised lip and yet he did not move, save for an impulsive quiver. There was a loud

Civilized people cannot fully satisfy their sexual instinct without donuts.

King "Buddy" Tut admired the handiwork of his people: the stately cheesecake pyramid he had decreed, with a border of palm fronds and candy crocs. But cheesecake fundamentalists de

We sat around the campfire reminiscing about old times. "Hey," piped up lucielucie, "remember the time the rogue foldbot ended all stories with 'this is done?'" We chuckled & threw

One day I met a chicken on the road.

Today was an odd series of events, 99% of the world's inhabitants had been turned into zombies.And the1% of survivors were trapped on a floating isle.

Hey diddle diddle. He's cracked in the middle.Tong Gao is stumped ornery and blue.