The experience was both cute and terrifying at the same time.

The density of a lap cat increases proportional to the distance an owner is from a remote control.

Harry Kim was late for his duty shift yet again. Lately he'd been spent more and more time on the Holodeck with a holo-version of Seven of Nine. Last night, she'd assimilated him

When time ran out and generic drugs became legal, Big Pharma pooled their resources and began to promote "Sodamitol -- good for whatever ails you." Martin Creosote, son of

Tom was 6 years old and entering the first grade. He had a lot of friends in kindergarten, but he was at a new school now and anxious to meet his classmates.

Blinded by inspiration from the recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue I painted some board shorts on myself and headed down to the beach.

He had just come home with his groceries when he saw a SWAT team surround his house. The police chief stopped him. "You can't go in there for the next 48 hours."

The pinnacle of masculinity. There has never before been so much man in one place.

Love is sometimes like a poison ivy turning around your heart suffocating you. My eyelid's been twiching for a while..just because of you.you damn love. Oh I want you baby..I need

He felt a little sorry for himself, truth be told. It hadn't been the greatest night, and it would certainly take some time for the scars to fade - letalone the hurt from when she

I was making a cheese and ham toastie by ironing the ingredients between 2 slices of bread. Now I had melted cheese all over my ironing board and the steam setting made the bread

This is the story of the 4th little pig. Subject of little reporting as he was estranged from the porcine brotherhood during the "lobo war." He had built his house out of

Happiness is making blueberry flap jacks on a Sunday morning.

Janine opened the can of spam. She inhaled it's meaty aroma. Her eyes gleamed and she licked the gelatinous goo from the top. She set the can down on the table and stuck a finger

It is as they say: "Nice parrots finish last." TomCat had Squawkers pinned the the floor & went in for the kill. "BUT a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush," Squawkers jerked

The bar smelled like fresh-squeezed hipster and easily was the worst place the band had ever played. They were crammed over in the corner between the men's room and a gigantic

"So you see pumpkin spice has over-saturated the holiday market. We need a new flavor that is bold ... and yet traditional." One exec piped up, "How 'bout ... gravy?" "YES!"

It was carnage, pure and simple - when Wile E. activated the Acme Mundaninator, suddenly cartoon physics (and cartoon chemistry for that matter) went out the window - falls were

"je vais aller en france l'anee prochaine" he whispered to me. I didnt speak french but i knew what he was saying. He's leaving me.

The snow swirled in thick clumpy flakes. He stumped through the snow straining against the heavy load on his sled. At least noone was out to see him. He steered toward the creekbed