...a combination shredder alarm clock. Just place place a high-denomination currency in the top and set the alarm. If one doesn't awake, the blades will

"So this fella" said Nock, "how will I recognise him?" Nick sighed "Because, Nock, he will be wearing a hat styled like a guitar amplifier".

It was a dark and stormy night, and the biggest and fastest spaceship in the world was being overrun by chickens.

My nipples had been sore all day, but I hadn't had a chance to check them - work was crazy busy, and I didn't want to be late for yoga afterward. That night when I finally checked

Your lips i taste one mine

I looked at my box of Grape-nuts. They didn't have any grapes or nuts in it. It didn't even have a mascot like Cookie Crisp. No prize inside either. Disappointed.

I am a simple girl, I have but one fantasy. When my mother opens her mouth, I wish I could just shout "BORING!" Just cut her off in mid-sentence when she's telling me about

"Today on Kitchen Miracles we're going to fix filet mignon in a lobster sauce, smothered in caviar and truffles, for a family of four, all for only $10! First you want to start

LittleRedRidingHood and Wolf had a plan to kill grandma but it envolved the huntsman and it made them feel unease.Red decided to seduce him but turned out he had other preferences.

hh

The storm railed against the house with thunder so loud, it was deafening. Then, it happened. The sky opened up and it swallowed me whole.

"Your mama!" "My mama what?" "Your mama wears fish stockings!" It was true. There was a tangle of mackerel, sardine & puffer fish caught in them. But my mama was the fishwife

"Put it down there on the table, please. I'm feeling so tired, so very very tired you see. You're so kind but I really must sleep now. So tired.

Josh screamed in pain, his leg impaled with a shard of glass,

"Argonaut to Titan Station I, attempting emergency orbit insertion sequence to Vulcan. Apogee at...T-9 min. Artifact is transmitting in tight beam X-band. Drake here. Do you Copy?"

Anne drove a blck car.A Miata her father gave for her 20th birthday.She was going to Seatle to visit her friend Mary when she remembered forgetting her umbrela on her bed.

Ever have one of those moments when you just go "Fuck life" that you're more naive than you are, or to be swallowed up by the floor? Once upon a time Joe was having this same probl

"Do you need love love advice? Then call Miss Cleo's Psychic Phone Line right now. For only 99 cents a minute, you can have your future told." Sammi rushed to the phone and dialed

"I have a fever" Said the Beaver Belonging to the blond. "Well I have a hurtin', in my meat curtain, "I got it from a lad 'cross the pond."

Todo comenzó cuando regresé a la ciudad