hh

hh

The sound was barely a whisper. Hhhh. There it was again. Someone giggled. Madame Polka shushed everyone sitting around the seance table. "Is anyone there?" Silence. Then I felt

the labored breathing of an obese spirit on my neck: "Hhhh." "Mme., tell the Espiritismo nuns to hold fewer bake sales, they're fattening up the dead." Madame Polka gyrated wildly

because she was on the Tilt-o-Wheel. The Obese ghost got tired of floating and rested on Madame Polka's shoulder. Pop! Snap! The carnival ride exploded from the increased weight

and collapsed onto the ground in pieces. "Oops," the obese ghost said with a sheepish look on his face. The carnival manager rushed to the now broken ride and said, "That's it! No

more fat ghosts on the roller coaster I've got a living to make and you're ruining my business, ruining me and ruining my family. You're also, extrapolating out, ruining the entire

Structure of my clientele. You scumbag!" Thus World War III began at the McDonald's located at the corner of Seventh Avenue and Willow Street. It was open 24 hours. It abruptly was

nonviolent. Every nation showed up & proclaimed, "This is WWIII." Like a game of capture the flag with no hands, the worlds greatest leaders and warriors snatched flags with their

butt cheeks and had to hold onto them that way as they jumped to the finish line in burlap bags. Korea, famous for its anal retentiveness, seemed to win these peaceful wars and was

Eventually disqualified from all international competition when it was discovered that none of the North Korean athletes had butt cheeks. They had been eaten in the last famine.