Gwen pulled into the parking lot of Aunt Valetta’s Sentient Sofa Bar and Grill™. She'd been starving all day, but hadn't found a thing to eat at the Turgid Stoat Sanctuary.

He was toughened up by Nam and the Smiths' split, but this was Little Drummer Boy, damnit, and these 5th graders were ruining it. "Down in front! I want a clean shot at the snare."

I pulled up to the stop. Pearl Jam pumping. Either way led to home but unbeknownst to me at the time a left meant painful death and right meant joyful rendezvous with an old buddy.

i have an asian friend his name is da balsakdoodle he is a good friend

"Chip the glasses and crack the plates! That's what Bilbo Baggins hates -". The dwarves stopped singing as one, realizing that Bilbo stood in the kitchen doorway, his arms

I tried to smile through my tears. Predictably, Harry misinterpreted my crying as tears of joy. His expectations of me this Valentine's Day were just too high. I wanted out.

One upon a time there was a dog named bacon. And all that dog wanted was to eat bacon and more bacon. Bacon ate so much bacon that his owner feared that he was going to turn into a

This morning I went to school and there was no one there...

I've noticed something about myself. The longer I play FoldingStory the more disgusting I become. What started off as a literary adventure has become little more than a

The Ducks of Al-Hazred had once been ordinary fowl, but, having read from the gibbering madness written by the author of the Quackronomicon, what sanity they had went the way of

We all turned on our nightvision. I hoisted my MK18 as he signaled the countdown. "Go! Go! Go!" I whispered as we rushed the door. What was on the other side surprised

I figured I'd take this guidance counselor meeting seriously for once. I wanted a job that maximized money/effort. I didn't care about fame, integrity, or "happiness". I want money

If you're reading this sentence, it means I'm likely dead.

He thrashed against the restraints. "This is it: it is happening now!!" he uttered despite the antilogosticals in his courtesy saline drip. "This is the story to end all fiction!!"

"Make it so Number one." Captain Charile Brown held up his two fingers and said, "Engage." Captain Brown's number one was Lucie. Woodstock put the Enterprise into

Every time there was a party at his neighbour's he had the same old problem...

The rabbit whispered sweet secrets. "You know what you need to do, Fluttershy. Burn the house down. BURN THEM ALL!" Then it chuckled diabolically, twitching its whiskers.

This is Commander Hadfield to ground control. I've left forever more. And I'm floating in a most peculiar way. And the music stars look very different today.

"There's fold in them thar hills!" The whiskery stranger pointed west and scuttled away.

The princess didn't realize that she had died at least five times already. She simply watched as her champion battled the time traveling monster.