"Never mix serif and sans serif in a single document unless you know what you're doing." Slap! It stung. It hurt because it was true. Her name was Helvetica and she

"This here with the holes, kinda neutral tasting is Swiss, & this stinky moldy soft cheese is French - what else?, & the biggest cheese of all, well that's Texan with a captial T"

When I arrived home, the door was opened. I thought about my cats and if they were safe. Suddenly, I heard a noise and people stepping down the stairs very quickly. I didn't unders

At the changing of the pants ceremony a crowd of tourists gathered. Everyday Vernon would change his pants at exactly 9.23 pm. The best spot for viewing the changing of the pants

Victor could not get a date. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had a single eyebrow encircling his entire face.

Testing...1..2..she said into the microphone, her hands shaking at her sides.

"Ia! Ia! Shug-Niggurath!" I shouted, and within seconds the Elder God appeared in all its gibbering glory. "Could you get me a beer? I'm parched". Winning that bet with Nodens

Why do I always want to type these phrases, "Don't turn around, uh-oh, Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh? Peter asked himself as he spiked his hair.

"The Joy of Sex and Cooking" recommends Buttercream Frosting as they best and smoothest of the food lubes.

Who says you can't end a sentence with a preposition, asked the professor. what is a preposition asked the old man. He had been sitting at the same bench for 3 years and still did

So late it was really early I opened the window and sucked in the fresh air. The starlight was brighter than usual but it was washed out by the

He was fat and Avant Guard which meant that he needed

She peers at the box in curiosity. Johnny told her not to open it; Johnny said he'd be back soon. She sneaks a peak around and glances back at the box.

When I was a young boy, my Pa always told me "Boy, don't you go around being a pansy now, you hear? Wearing flowers around your head and playing the guitar all day ain't

"We're Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" the singer sang off-key. Nobody really believed the lead singer in front of them that evening was Billy Shears. Suddenly...

After the Nurikabe failed, Jen tired a more traditional means of protecting cheese puffs: burying them underground. "Digging through tile is tough," she said, clutching a rusty

Now, boys and girls, this is to be a nice, clean story, do you hear? No lewd references to body parts, no toilet humor, no crude or sexual words will be tolerated.

Somehow Jasper got himself targeted. From overhead one could see the PariahNet app subscribers start to converge on him like metal filings toward a magnet. The WNYC news chopper

Once there was a young girl named Lilly. She was ten, had a great imagination, a big heart, and warm hands. She didn't have any siblings, and her parents were always away for work.

"Your hairs gray." "You have crow's feet". "It take you an hour to pee." "Your thighs look like cottage cheese someone threw up on a hot sidewalk." "You always had a tiny penis."