CREAeeeeeEaeeeeeeEEEEaaaakkkkkKKK! Oh I didn't see you standing there. Come in... won't you? CREAeeeeeEaeeeeeeEEEEaaaakkkkkKKK! KLUNK! CuhChunk! Thud! Click-click.

Patient #zero came into the ER today, again, spitting up random universes and stray alien civilizations the size of a dog's head. We're still trying to find out which dog it is.

Papa Smurf had fallen in love, I mean summer camp level "in love" with Red Riding Hood when she came skipping through the forest. She'd smashed his mushroom house but

Agent Spitfire Wannamaker, this message if from the Deep Undercover Bureau of Secrecy (D.U.B.S.). For your eyes only. Contains Mission. Will self-destruck in 5 minutes. You must

Senator Alistair Jumba and his relatives had ruled Jumba Jumba Land for centuries. So when the Boku Toku Party gained control of parliament, he immediately plotted to have them all

"Mammy, here's Miss Scarlett's vitals." Dr. Williams hated her Medical Assistant. She treated the hospital like it was the set from Gone with the Wind.

Thirty years later and it still burns my butt that I didn't get the part of the Artful Dodger in that production of Oliver. Story of my life. Just a generic street urchin who

I like big spuds and I cannot lie, hashbrowns or big steak fries, when I see one baked with bacon flakes my inside start to shake, Idaho or new, you just can't get

I was watching tv when I realized I had a third arm.Testing out the arm, I went outside and climbed a tree. I got bored easily, so I went back inside and ate some chips until

As I was heading into work, my mind started to drift from one topic to another. I wondered if I had left the coffee maker on? Was I teaching 9 English or 10 History first? When

Debbie couldn't sleep. The results of the European elections were due & she couldn't wait to discover the new composition of the European Parliament. She heard a sound from the riv

So the Wal-Mart truck eased off onto a frontage road in the pre-dawn light. The driver parked. Opened the trailer. Unloaded a duffel and threw it in the ditch. A severed head

After 10 days of white-out in a pup-tent, the weather cleared and we ventured to the peak. When reaching the summit, I checked my GPS. We were on the wrong mountain

Hicks knocked on the door. He'd had no luck with finding an apartment on Fury 161 at all, and the refinery was out of the question. The door opened to reveal an Alien Queen in an

Little did she know by stepping across the threshold of the old country house she would start to discover the dark secret surround her birth family.

As they spread throughout the galaxy, humans were surprised to find that other beings also believed in astrology. The considerations became increasingly complex, and by the time of

Timo The Middle Manager got his start the day he hung up his mask and tights. He had been the superhero

Why?Why did it always have to be BOTH. Diet AND exercise. Black AND blue. Up AND down. In the name of all that is good & right & holy in this godforsaken land of pain AND suffering

I'm a professional extremist. I'm hired by the opposition to give bombastic, stupid exaggerations of the sensible party online to make the opposition's idiocy pale by comparison.

Hi, I'm Jim Reaper. You might know someone who came to know my brother, Grim. I can assure you that my interests lie in the agriculture sector, and maybe in you. For a fun time,