Joel Hodgson regretted leaving Mystery SCience Theater 3000 because

It all unfolded in slomo.

In his heart of hearts, Dracula was a softie. He spent his downtime knitting wool koozies for tubes of blast-frozen blood and sketching ideas for marshmallow shapes. No one knew

If you ever wake up from this nightmare tell your aunt Sandy that the

Danny used a homemade pond life viewer made from a toilet roll with clear cellophane attached to the bottom with an elastic band, to examine the contents of his soup carefully.

The room spun - not really, it was in his head, but the net effect was the same: he lost his lunch on the old woman sitting next to him at the conference. The look of horror on her

True story: A student signed up for my communication class because he'd misread the course title. So he showed up on the first day, all excited to learn the art of Pubic Speaking.

His mind had been inhabited by that bug. "Why do you mate with other females?" he asked of Christine, looking puzzled. "Explain your reproduction and we can control your species."

You know, a good story doesn't have to be epic or action-packed. A really good story could be about something simple, like a cup...and involve ordinary people, like Maggie & Steve.

Tilting his cowboy hat, he stared into the lights.The live cameras focused on him after a tap-dancing cigarette ad . "Preforming 'Indian Love Song' the yodeler! Slim Whitman!"

Aja had run out of time, there was nothing left she could do.

He was fool because he still believed in "win-wins"

Dan, Melilda, and Walter meet in the breakroom at 10am each weekday. They each eat a donut and tell an off-color sexual joke. Sometimes, other coworkers share the breakroom. Is

Amy, being a junior cartographer, mapped out the house in crayon. She'd never been in her parents' room, but she'd heard impassioned screaming. "Here be dragons!" she scribbled

He inherited the cryogenic deep freeze business from his dad in the late teens. It was a pretty easy until the great drought of 2017. With rolling brown outs, the dead were

" I'm gonna catch a Pokemon" Naruto said.

“Yum!” exclaimed Al. “There’s nothing like a fudgsicle!” Ed lost his composure and laughed. “Al, that’s not a fudgsicle you’re licking!” Al looked at Ed incredulously. “No, that’s

It was a wondrous day. The sun was shining, the birds were cawing , there was a gull picking at crab legs washed up on the shore.

I was paralyzed. All I could do was watch the ghostly white Count open his maw to drink the blood from my neck but when I saw his teeth, instead of two sharp fangs, two cashews

On a rest stop off Hwy 395 on the way to the eastern Sierras I met the Woods poet. He was wearing an oversized green parka & taped up boots. He said, "Yo, I rap to woodland fauna