Meanwhile, on Innuendo Island, Bob Uppindown winked a brown eye at fellow camp counselor Shirley Knotty. They sat on the shores of Lake Likkaflappaskyn, playing a baudy game of

"Go ahead" I said. "Take one". I could tell everything I needed to know by what flavor Jolly Rancher each candidate selected. ~Apple~ Hmm, hadn't counted on that. This called for

"I will always add to a fold which has mustard in it." she said. We shook our heads. What world was she living in? Her rapid mental degradation had shocked our family to the core.

From the helicopter above, I dropped my son into the Atlantic. "Survival instincts are the best swimming lesson," I shouted as he descended. "I put granola bars in your pocket, so

Trenia walked into the studio with an open mind and wounded heart. She was seeking solace in art and peace in creativity. Oh, the couple of martinis she'd indulged in didn't hurt

This is the saddest story I have ever heard.

"Wow, what's THIS?" The taste tester's eyes lit up as he took another bite. Product developers at McDonald's knew they had a hit on their hands when they created the Tripe Burger.

Let's all go to the zoo. We can go just me & you. We can see a gnu. A green cockatoo. And a wombat eating its poo.

Kimberley Stockholm was a godzilla - she had arms that were a mile long, teeth that you could see your reflection in, and her breath...YEEEEESHHHH!

heather hritzel

Such were the days that Montaro dreaded. The sun, bright overhead, reminded him only that he had flown too close to the metaphorical sun that was limitless anonymous sex

Rich took Joey to work today - I got home... and no dog greeted me.

GROG COOK MEAT! "Ah, my dear chap but have you tried this?" I took the bread and put it on a stick over the fire. The cave man looked quizzically. "This is toast." GROG LIKE TOAST!

"WHY?!" he screamed. as his mom rushed in, to find her son having a nervous breakdown on the floor. "What's wrong, honey?!" He replied: I read Cupcakes! Again! Why Pinkie Pie, why"

Slugman glared at me as Joyce from Forensics reported that all five mucusy trails were concocted from mucilage and olive oil. "Slugman, I owe you more than an apology. How about

The Moon was a pale disk in the roiling sky, casting its leery gaze over the landscape: trees, barren of leaves, bending under a screeching wind. Black dust, the choking ash, swirl

Mormons knocked on the door. Mom-mom said, "You, go talk to them. Pop'll sneak around behind 'em with a slingshot." I begged, "Make me not your sacrificial lamb," and hid under

I heard this story, bit by bit,from various people, &, as usually happens in such cases,each time it was different but each time just as true, but it alway started with the spatula

Dr Crud made his first incision with a scapel into the little girl's chest only to discover the patient was filled with sugar and spice and all things nice. Amy's twin brother need

"Two more sequential black-outs, a meatfest, and then three different shades of self-loathing and a car, and just like that I was a roadie for Danzig." The crowd clapped.