"Yes sir. Mm hmm. Yes. The human female appears to possess all the physical attributes generally prized by the male of this species. Right. OK. Well, do you want me to

The President apparently had no idea that thousands, perhaps millions had been slaughtered by his forces. "Well, hi-de-ho, then," he exulted in a remarkably brief press conf

"Septentrionibussinistrisconvocotedaimon!" she wheezed out in one long breath and waved her wand menacingly at the shambling horde of

"Don't worry about it Bob! Stop being such a puss Bob! The SEC will never notice Bob! That's what you said! You screwed me you bastard! I'm finished!" "Lower your voice Bob" He ope

In the year 2828, the Turtle of the Baskervilles was spotted by low-grav ski tourists on the shores of a Martian lake. The Tharsis Ridge Condo Association reported the sighting to

Batman was brushing with the Batbrush when he got a Batsignal, so he took off his Batman pajamas & put on his Batman costume & jumped in the Batmobile with Bathound & the Batfleas

My cat made me follow her outside to spend the night in her world. She showed me where a puddle of water was and left me a nice lizard, but let me pick my own place to sleep. Th

he turned to his friend and said "I feel like I'm the left pussy lip and your the right one, we used to be tight until a dick got between us!"

Most pirates had a parrot, he had a cat. It perched on his shoulder with its tail brushing his upper lip giving the impression of a mustache. Especially helpful in combat, it would

The American "Hot dog" has been attributed the indirect produce of this uncanny group.

The Crystelline Mind. Floating. Through solid objects like a balloon in the air. Is it a dream or are the objects a dream?

"Las Palabras Completas" only contained 17 words, but it was Albucon's gift to the world. The selection, the sequence, the texture and scent of the paper, the impress of the type -

My day started like any other day. I woke up to the sound of a crying baby, a yelling mother, and drenched in sweat due to no air conditioning. However, little did I know

He drank whenever he could. He was a silent drunk. Hell, he'd been totally blacked out yesterday at work, no one knew. Once someone confessed that they'd killed their child to him

There was this website where you typed in someone's name and they would be sent to Hell shortly after. It was called the Hell Correspondence. Everyone said it was just a joke but

“Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedediah craves not these things. You are reckless.” Said the old Amish man. He was real tiny, with no hair and scars on his scalp, but he was t

After many years in the outback, a lone dingo made his way to

Although your kitchen may appear safe at first, there is an evil lurking, an abomination of untold proportions, if the dishes are left in the sink long enough then you

“Laugh it up, Fuzzball.” said the Siamese cat to the Manx. The Manx couldn't help laughing, the Siamese had just his testicles clipped.

We all sat there stunned. Some crying. Some thinking, remembering. Then he opened his eyes again