"Hmm. I wonder why Gary has the Event planned for the sleepiest day of the year." I reached for my copy of "Eigler's Extensive Concordance of Hidden Surprises." It fell open to the

He was a close-minded conservative bigot, she was a spoiled liberal lunatic. They both shared a love of Dr. Seuss and musical-comedies. They got married.

That really pissed him off, with moves like a cat, George Foreman jumped to his feet, grabbed the closest Swiffer Duster and proceeded to

asda

XVM11 ordered a brillo pad burger, wire fries & a motoroil shake to go. He was late for robot's rights demo, but his insides were making scraping noises. A human cop walked in and

Superkick, woo! [Musical interlude.] Superkick, woo! [Musical interlude.] Feet stronger than a raging herd of beeffalo, the mighty Superkick is the champion of justice! Our hero

"Well" Jess said, closing to door behind her and shrugging her shoulders at Tim "That's the last time we try to kindnap an anteater with rickets." Tim rolled his eyes and grabbed h

It is harmful because enlightened, good, and honest people by entering the ranks of the government give it a moral authority which but for them it would not possess...

The Queen of England put the coined quid in a tube sock, swung it in large loops behind Prince Charles's head and the door opened and in walked Sir Elton John.

We are being changed physically from carbon-based being with 2 strands of DNA into crystalline beings with 1,024 strands of DNA

Janice realized Matt liked somebody else when he returned to school with the same cold as Allie, whom he went to the dance with. Apparently he preferred Allie's snot over her own.

It was frustrating reaching into empty pockets with a hungry belly but he had to grin and bear it. All he thought was that will make my next meal even better as he

She didn't know much about science fiction. She'd read too many romance novels. But when she lay in bed that night, bodice-ripper in hand, she could have sword she'd stepped out

"OKAY" I could see she was trying not to laugh, "THAT'S WAS GROSS!"

The midday sun scorched the asphalt of a highway stretching through the desert. Rita found a nice big rock and dropped in on the accelerator and put the convertible in drive.

...in bed!" We laughed at the joke we had made of the fortune cookie. Little did we know, the accurate prediction of that slip of paper would haunt us for the rest of our lives.

In the Swiss city of Bern, Marie and Josephine planned to create holely baby cheeses. The baby cheeses became sought after. Three men approached them to invest in the fledgling co

My uncle sat back in the chair and laughed. "...Reminds me of the time there was a mixup in the toy factory and one of the homemade movies made at the North Pole was sent out to

"Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain. And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet. When the wind comes right behind the rain." When the wind comes right behi

When turtles turtle, mocking birds mock, and horses horse around, you know that soon dogs will dog, camels will