After years of prolonged, tense masturbation, I realize now that I am in love with the internet. The whole internet. I accepted all of it, for better or worse. She...yes, she

You're eating one helluva grilled cheese sandwich. Perfect. Twice you've thought: ~Goddamn, this is the best thing I've ever eaten.~ Then you find it. A hair. You

Sitting here eating a bowl of brown rice with no chicken I spot a fly.

שלום אני מורה ועובדת בניו יורק

"I won't be friends," Fred said. "I will deal with your psycho Burmese stalker, but on the condition that you agree to be my girlfriend." Clare looked at him and

She had red hair with fair skin and light bluey grey eyes. Her personality was split between a graceful young lady and an agressive whore.

Somewhere the fire was burning, but my friend and I couldn't tell where it was coming from. We were driving to Seattle to visit another friend of mine. As we

As I sit in the drive thru waiting for that frothy choco-shake that I cannot get out of my mind, I wonder about those silver little BB hard candies that you can put on top of cupca

[Fold1]: The judge repeated: "I'm leaning for the death penalty." The attorney was astonished. Was he influenced? A question formed on her lips. [Fold2]: "Why are poo-poos brown?"

Happy, Sneezy, Grouchy, Dopey, Sleepy, Bashful & Doc

I'm not sure when my sofa became sentient, though I'm certain it was after I had moved out of my ex-girlfriend's loft apartment but before I rented that hole over on 4th. Anyway,

"A theatrical performance, 7 letters - something something e something t something something" her husband questioned. This is the last one and we can send off for the grand prize o

"I won't be friends," Fred said. "I will deal with your psycho Burmese stalker, but on the condition that you agree to be my girlfriend." Clare looked at him and

It was 3:42 AM and the electronics were beeping reminders about game turns and status updates. "Perhaps we should go sleep," he said. She didn't answer as he got up and got a snack

I said GO AWAY. No, wait...stop. Turn around. Come back. No wait... Just go on, leave. Yes, I mean it. Right now. No wait...stop. Turn around. Come back. Yes, I mean it.

"Ok son, there's a couple things we need to talk about. First, there's the majora, then don't forget the minora. Also, the party's not over until everyone gets their cookies. Quest

In the year 2078, the scientist Edwin Littlefield will prove decisively the fact that the world is, in fact, a cube, and not a sphere. The news shocks no one.

"What do you want this time?" asked God. The Devil, hat in hand said, "Look, I'm sorry. I apologize for being prideful and I have learned my lesson." God opened his arms and

Scratch and sniff stickers were never designed for the information age... until now.

It's amazing thinking back to when people had unlimited water. I remember just letting the hose run and run, water flowing endlessly into the dark green grass. Since the drought