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23
Only a dork will use a spork. For me a simple fork will do. Hand me shrooms n Ill do them with you in an air balloon, uh, with the helium. Other emcees, man, i aint feelin em. Cuz
Finished
2017-01-10 10:41:10
Took
4 years, 138 days, 7 hours, 5 minutes, 35 seconds
24
When asking myself a question, instead of picking pedals off a flower, I take one of the pedals and tear it until it can't be torn anymore. Each time in half and by the end of it
Finished
2017-01-10 10:46:45
Took
4 years, 122 days, 7 hours, 51 minutes, 30 seconds
46
Why do I always want to type these phrases, "Don't turn around, uh-oh, Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh? Peter asked himself as he spiked his hair.
Finished
2017-01-10 19:26:08
Took
3 years, 333 days, 18 hours, 55 minutes, 52 seconds
30
"Ia! Ia! Shug-Niggurath!" I shouted, and within seconds the Elder God appeared in all its gibbering glory. "Could you get me a beer? I'm parched". Winning that bet with Nodens
Finished
2017-01-10 19:45:06
Took
3 years, 333 days, 4 hours, 4 minutes, 15 seconds
25
We last left Alfred Hitchcock & Orson Welles running naked through the wilderness, covering themselves, buttcheeks flapping in the wind. "Worst camping trip ever," Orson complained
Finished
2017-01-10 19:53:20
Took
3 years, 326 days, 18 hours, 38 minutes, 13 seconds
18
But what the hell is he doing? I wonder.. By daylight you only ever see his shadow casted through the grimy windows.. By night the echoes filled the empty alley.. The pounding, the
Finished
2017-01-10 20:47:17
Took
4 years, 98 days, 5 hours, 24 minutes, 3 seconds
13
In case you hadn't noticed I'm going to clue you in a little bit here. There is no secret to happiness. No key to why we're here. No long lost mystery that reduces belly fat. The
Finished
2017-01-11 10:37:11
Took
3 years, 241 days, 23 hours, 33 minutes, 11 seconds
37
It was a gift for the children from my eccentric uncle. Toss the dice with pictures on their faces & tell a story. But last night we there was a party & we adults played. The story
Finished
2017-01-11 13:05:41
Took
3 years, 245 days, 18 hours, 11 minutes, 6 seconds
35
My 83-year-old mother covered her mouth with her liver-spotted hands. Her eyes twinkled gleefully. "Yes...yes I did," she giggled. "I called him 'Mr. Dildo' by mistake!"
Finished
2017-01-11 13:12:09
Took
3 years, 261 days, 13 hours, 4 minutes, 41 seconds
33
A serene fog cuddled Oldblock Manor in the heat of a summer's day, cocooning it gently. A large dog lay on the lawn, snoring in harmony with the breeze that was fluttering across
Finished
2017-01-11 13:19:03
Took
3 years, 302 days, 23 hours, 42 minutes, 45 seconds
4
Geoff was polish, he was an immigrant. Entered UK in 1900 and reproduced. This was not good, he likes UK and didnt like poland He was going to blow up russia and hurt kim jong un
Finished
2017-01-11 13:34:55
Took
3 years, 262 days, 3 hours, 41 minutes, 11 seconds
9
I was idly staring into space while hacking into my own wrists with the sharp silver blade. The blood ran down my arms and dripped on the floor, as I continued to slash to the beat
Finished
2017-01-11 13:39:50
Took
3 years, 286 days, 18 hours, 29 minutes, 2 seconds
36
MJ died on the anniversary of the moon landing. The NASA creeps hated him for getting all the moonwalk clicks. I use Google to expose conspiracies , but its a two-edged sword since
Finished
2017-01-11 14:01:32
Took
3 years, 264 days, 33 minutes, 35 seconds
49
SWM seeking S?F for adventure and romance. Physical specs not paramount but must be fit and a lover of new experiences. Please message me for additional details or to meet.
Finished
2017-01-11 14:39:15
Took
3 years, 243 days, 12 hours, 28 minutes, 44 seconds
42
I looked inside the box and found my long lost cranberries. Feeling better now, I tied a yellow ribbon round Telly's head and laughed until the last fandango was distributed.
Finished
2017-01-11 15:20:58
Took
3 years, 303 days, 15 hours, 15 minutes, 28 seconds
32
"Never mix serif and sans serif in a single document unless you know what you're doing." Slap! It stung. It hurt because it was true. Her name was Helvetica and she
Finished
2017-01-11 15:21:13
Took
3 years, 330 days, 17 hours, 34 minutes, 14 seconds
54
In a huge pond, there lived many fish. They were arrogant and never listened to anyone. In this pond, there also lived a kind-hearted crocodile.
Finished
2017-01-11 18:14:30
Took
3 years, 264 days, 9 hours, 51 minutes, 59 seconds
53
Hey Fold2, this is Fold1. How ya doin? Listen, can you pass a message to Fold3 for me? Just tell her that I'll see her at the end of the story OK? Thanks dude. Late.
Finished
2017-01-11 23:03:11
Took
3 years, 241 days, 8 hours, 44 minutes, 16 seconds
9
In a world where all well-to-do folks lived in glass terrariums, neatly organized into rows, hobos were distrusted. What were they hiding behind those cardboard walls?
Finished
2017-01-12 11:05:24
Took
4 years, 82 days, 18 hours, 22 minutes, 27 seconds
12
"Why take responsibility for my inaction when the universe is a video game and my player is AFK?" "Well, mister, tell your AFK player to take out the trash, or you're grounded."
Finished
2017-01-12 15:27:07
Took
4 years, 58 days, 18 hours, 37 minutes, 59 seconds
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