*Ding dong* "Oh, hi Hubert. What sort of halloween costume is that?" "Is it a stock broker? Is it a church warden? Is it a quantity surveyor? No! It's bicycle repairman!" "I see...

Today was the big day! I only had a few hours before my mom picked me up. My nervousness was getting to me, my legs trebbled with each step I took. Why was this hour moving so slow

My goldfish slapped me, so I was

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to right. Here I am stuck in the middle with you. When you started off with nothing & your proud your a self made man & your fans they all come

This is a critical review of the latest musical, "Three Roses in a Bush". The director is a dummy-head. The lead actress' butt smells. The plot was poopy! They should've named this

Sal initially wanted to open an "Ancient Roman" themed restaurant, but when the backers got whiff of his plans for "Dormice Poppers" and learned that everything would be covered in

She felt more depressed than ever. She stared at herself in the mirror hating every part of her body. She then glanced at the toilet reflecting what she had just done.

The Fridge said to her, "Come on, open me. Reach inside and grab my goodies. You have no lover, no happiness might as well eat the rest of the pizza."

But Kermit was sick of Ms. Piggy's crap. He started spending more time at the office, sometimes sleeping there. He wasn't having an affair (yet) he just didn't want to face the por

In 1888 Bertha Benz drove her automobile to visit her mother. Along the way, several people were frightened by the automobile

We have this illusion. We're in control. We've mastered the elements. Life's cosy & predictable. It's not like that. Let me tell you. The universe is a violent & inhospitable place

Member? Do you? Member?

hmmm wat do i have to acomplish today? house chores or..

The first flurry of the year floated over the field when I left the stable. Somewhere in the dancing swarm of crystals above was one whose pattern would unlock the snow angels

"Let me be the interior decorator of your heart". It came from a cage with a parrot. He was owned by a Lady's man. He learned all the guys successful openers. I bought the parrot

He was born of lowly station, the runt of one of the local chieftains many comcubines. Spurned & exiled he survived in the forlorn steppes. Ghengis was tough, ambitious.& ruthless

She was four years old, enormously rich and had a genius for obscenity. This put her on a collision course with

After the gig me and the boys hooked up with the groupies, and as true rock-gods hit up some Charlie and champagne, things spiralled out of control when Jimmy the guitarist smashed

I grew up in the 1960s in small house that fit a family of seven just fine in those days. There was no such thing as not sharing a bedroom with another sibling, or

Conditions were right for the diatom takeover of the world. Feverishly building their silicate shells, countless trillions of diatoms began to converge upon the populated centers