What if I were to tell you that I'm going to pay you to do butterfly surveys on flowery flat areas in the spring. Surveys can't be done too early, too late, when it's too hot or

There are few known facts in this world, but one of them is that sweater vests look ridiculous, regardless of the attractiveness of the wearer. Matthew was no exception.

Once upon a time Peter and Mary went to the market the dog had a bone it was rainning asdasdasdas asdasdasdasdasdasdasdasdasdasdasdasfdasfsdfsd asdasdasfsdgzdfgdfgfghfghfghfg

"God no, don't, you'll kill yourself," my bawling wife implored as she pulled at my robe sleeve. I batted her arms away. "Stand aside, woman! I am going to submit 100 folds today

After the Spanish Flu had killed half of the world's population, I figured I ought to take some time and write my will before I kicked the bucket. Who would I include?

Waking up, I noticed I no longer had arms or legs. Not the best start to the day but I was determined to make the most of the morning as the weather was supposed to turn by the aft

I tossed the grenade into the warehouse and turned away. I began walking briskly and smirked softly as the explosion went off behind me. Cool guys don't look at explosions.

He kissed the palm of my hand and asked me to forgive him but I wouldn't.

I was eating breakfast when my roommate came up. He was holding a wild hedgehog in a most menacing and intimidating manner. "Did you eat my last ding dong." he growled.

Despite her best efforts, her folds had zero points. How could she get more votes? She did some analysis and found that folds with the most points were written at 3:00 a.m.,

"This is an Explausion tablet," the future man said as he glide-passed the little white pill to me. "Throw it on the ground and everyone around you will explode into applause."

I'm done. Finished. Good-bye cruel world...good-bye.

"My name is PurpleProf and I (deep breath) am a Foldaholic." I sat down.

Spam Baby needed to break out of this daycare, and fast. He shook his rattle to alert L'enfant Sausage, who was nibbling on a wean pocket. The two tykes battered down the baby gate

Months of practice, Joe was able to talk subliminally. "HI TED! /give/HERE/me/ IS/the/THAT/day/REPORT /off/YOU /now/WANTED!" His boss stopped "Hey take the rest of the day off."

The wind whistled outside and the trees snapped under the weight of the frozen ice on the branches. The power was out, the roads were closed, and there was no food. What to do?

I had a leftover chicken leg and some knockoff Sriracha sauce. He had ham and cheese with the crusts cut off, chips and apple juice. I said "Trade?"

'You can remove toxic conditions from the atmosphere through fire,' said the pundit. 'The process is called Homa and is based on the vedic science of bioenergy.' Here's how you do

There were scorch marks on the tungsten steel vault doors and the shark pool leaked. But with a little bit of elbow grease, I could flip this hollowed-out volacano.

Behold the beauty of my newest invention! With the flip of this one switch, you see, the cranial cavity is exposed. Then simply insert the brain of your choosing & tighten here.