When Belgium was created in 1830, no-one realised that there would never be any famous Belgians.

We all turned on our nightvision. I hoisted my MK18 as he signaled the countdown. "Go! Go! Go!" I whispered as we rushed the door. What was on the other side surprised

Small, round, fragrant when cut. Not just an unripe lemon. A military weapon. A tantric tonic against evil. Skin exposed to the juice and then sun can develop phytophotodermatitis.

K.C. and the Sunshine Band showed up at my door today. What was I to do? I invited them in, puzzled, but pretending not to be. They seemed to be expecting me to

I wish I was sitting in my loungeroom playing boggle with my family. That used to be so much better than sitting in prison.

Magnetic zeros stuck to my forehead as I considered all the time I'd wasted here. I tried getting back on my feet, but Edward would have none of it. I blew a dustbunny from my face

His fingers came away bloody from the painting. Had his Mona Lisa just bitten him? Oh and now she was smiling. "Not funny, my dear," said Leonard, as he dabbed his brush

I took a crazy chance, but next time I'll be true.

"Your hairs gray." "You have crow's feet". "It take you an hour to pee." "Your thighs look like cottage cheese someone threw up on a hot sidewalk." "You always had a tiny penis."

When the puppet found out who was pulling the strings, his jaw dropped to the floor. Every aspect of his life, from breakfast at

I don't care what He says. When the computer voice is singing in Daft Punk's "Up All Night," it sounds like it's singing, "we'll rub a Mexican lucky."

No one puts my ideas into practice, which is good. I'm sick of perfect ideas being proven wrong by "applications." So, when I say idle things like, "The best way to please women is

To be immortal, Anna tried to reduce herself to something abstract: 13. You can't kill 13. Anna walked under ladders on Fridays, then broke mirrors with black cats, but that caused

Flower 1 concluded, "She loves me"; Flower 2 concluded, "She loves me not." It seems even the One Mind all flowers share is susceptible to doublethink. My dystopian flower garden

Let's talk about things taken out of context for a second. For example, if you were employed, & your paid job was to blow on a fire to keep it stoked, would you say you had a good

One shift, Research Director Erasmos Domingi decided to check out the robotics. All was fine. So was science and toxins. But when he was in xenobiology, he saw

"Then you export the undelimited one into your VIOP account. Once it's been finalized, you can check it against the proxy." Said Candace. Mitch hurled the non-dairy creamer and scr

"Okay, we've got Anthrax Toast, Poached Pestilence, Nuclear Tuna Melt, Toxic Taffy. Any other..." "Those names suck!" "Well we've got to work in our sponsors products to pay for

The unbelievable had happened. He had kept his promise. America was great again. From behind

Dr. Amnesiac was a master of identity theft, but Det.Manatee was sure he'd visited the Tattoo parlor. "Abalone, checked this ink for fluorescence. The map might be hidden under his