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  • 50
    Avatar
    When Belgium was created in 1830, no-one realised that there would never be any famous Belgians.
    Finished
    2017-02-08 13:27:07
    Took
    3 years, 245 days, 15 hours, 22 minutes, 3 seconds
  • 34
    Avatar
    We all turned on our nightvision. I hoisted my MK18 as he signaled the countdown. "Go! Go! Go!" I whispered as we rushed the door. What was on the other side surprised
    Finished
    2017-02-08 11:15:07
    Took
    3 years, 176 days, 22 hours, 46 minutes, 44 seconds
  • 27
    Avatar
    Small, round, fragrant when cut. Not just an unripe lemon. A military weapon. A tantric tonic against evil. Skin exposed to the juice and then sun can develop phytophotodermatitis.
    Finished
    2017-02-08 10:56:44
    Took
    3 years, 162 days, 51 minutes, 44 seconds
  • 61
    Avatar
    K.C. and the Sunshine Band showed up at my door today. What was I to do? I invited them in, puzzled, but pretending not to be. They seemed to be expecting me to
    Finished
    2017-02-08 10:47:08
    Took
    3 years, 172 days, 12 hours, 36 minutes, 40 seconds
  • 39
    Avatar
    I wish I was sitting in my loungeroom playing boggle with my family. That used to be so much better than sitting in prison.
    Finished
    2017-02-08 10:40:02
    Took
    3 years, 199 days, 5 hours, 50 minutes, 26 seconds
  • 24
    Avatar
    Magnetic zeros stuck to my forehead as I considered all the time I'd wasted here. I tried getting back on my feet, but Edward would have none of it. I blew a dustbunny from my face
    Finished
    2017-02-08 10:33:49
    Took
    3 years, 261 days, 1 hour, 45 seconds
  • 33
    Avatar
    His fingers came away bloody from the painting. Had his Mona Lisa just bitten him? Oh and now she was smiling. "Not funny, my dear," said Leonard, as he dabbed his brush
    Finished
    2017-02-08 10:28:34
    Took
    3 years, 315 days, 6 hours, 59 minutes, 49 seconds
  • 34
    Avatar
    I took a crazy chance, but next time I'll be true.
    Finished
    2017-02-08 10:20:45
    Took
    3 years, 325 days, 14 hours, 44 minutes, 25 seconds
  • 45
    Avatar
    "Your hairs gray." "You have crow's feet". "It take you an hour to pee." "Your thighs look like cottage cheese someone threw up on a hot sidewalk." "You always had a tiny penis."
    Finished
    2017-02-08 10:14:28
    Took
    3 years, 337 days, 5 hours, 44 minutes, 17 seconds
  • 52
    Avatar
    When the puppet found out who was pulling the strings, his jaw dropped to the floor. Every aspect of his life, from breakfast at
    Finished
    2017-02-08 10:09:03
    Took
    4 years, 81 days, 6 hours, 59 minutes, 36 seconds
  • 15
    Avatar
    I don't care what He says. When the computer voice is singing in Daft Punk's "Up All Night," it sounds like it's singing, "we'll rub a Mexican lucky."
    Finished
    2017-02-08 07:50:55
    Took
    3 years, 192 days, 4 hours, 35 minutes, 21 seconds
  • 18
    Avatar
    No one puts my ideas into practice, which is good. I'm sick of perfect ideas being proven wrong by "applications." So, when I say idle things like, "The best way to please women is
    Finished
    2017-02-08 07:46:26
    Took
    3 years, 173 days, 13 hours, 37 minutes, 10 seconds
  • 28
    Avatar
    To be immortal, Anna tried to reduce herself to something abstract: 13. You can't kill 13. Anna walked under ladders on Fridays, then broke mirrors with black cats, but that caused
    Finished
    2017-02-08 07:37:39
    Took
    3 years, 170 days, 11 hours, 51 minutes, 7 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    Flower 1 concluded, "She loves me"; Flower 2 concluded, "She loves me not." It seems even the One Mind all flowers share is susceptible to doublethink. My dystopian flower garden
    Finished
    2017-02-08 07:32:36
    Took
    3 years, 171 days, 13 hours, 4 minutes, 30 seconds
  • 27
    Avatar
    Let's talk about things taken out of context for a second. For example, if you were employed, & your paid job was to blow on a fire to keep it stoked, would you say you had a good
    Finished
    2017-02-08 07:28:14
    Took
    3 years, 164 days, 8 hours, 11 minutes, 16 seconds
  • 28
    Avatar
    One shift, Research Director Erasmos Domingi decided to check out the robotics. All was fine. So was science and toxins. But when he was in xenobiology, he saw
    Finished
    2017-02-08 07:22:06
    Took
    3 years, 163 days, 10 hours, 35 minutes, 42 seconds
  • 40
    Avatar
    "Then you export the undelimited one into your VIOP account. Once it's been finalized, you can check it against the proxy." Said Candace. Mitch hurled the non-dairy creamer and scr
    Finished
    2017-02-08 07:16:12
    Took
    3 years, 163 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes, 10 seconds
  • 33
    Avatar
    "Okay, we've got Anthrax Toast, Poached Pestilence, Nuclear Tuna Melt, Toxic Taffy. Any other..." "Those names suck!" "Well we've got to work in our sponsors products to pay for
    Finished
    2017-02-08 01:46:41
    Took
    3 years, 90 days, 11 hours, 1 minute, 57 seconds
  • 44
    Avatar
    The unbelievable had happened. He had kept his promise. America was great again. From behind
    Finished
    2017-02-07 23:38:34
    Took
    279 days, 12 hours, 29 minutes, 2 seconds
  • 46
    Avatar
    Dr. Amnesiac was a master of identity theft, but Det.Manatee was sure he'd visited the Tattoo parlor. "Abalone, checked this ink for fluorescence. The map might be hidden under his
    Finished
    2017-02-07 20:27:24
    Took
    4 years, 124 days, 22 hours, 1 minute, 25 seconds
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