I took a crazy chance, but next time I'll

I took a crazy chance, but next time I'll be true.

I tapped my pencil against my shoe, stumped on the next line of my song. Hmmm... "Never thought I'd lie like this, 'specially next to you-ooo!" Strummed a G-chord.

Then I went to my songwriting well of inspiration. Ah Bieber, speak to me soul brother number one.

And lo, Bieber the demigod appeared before me. His eyes were sad and his little crest hairdo was no longer erect. "I am a dying demigod," spaketh he, "and my Malibu house is

falling into ruins. My bed is unmade and the pool is turning green". "I have no sympathy for you Bieber. Your fame turned your head. However you are still young. Have you cons

idered diving. Green pools make it easier to spin when you can see the difference between the pool and the sky.

"So... are you going to try it, or what?" she prompted. He looked back at the pool, crisp and emerald. "Uh... Yeah. Yeah sure, I'll do it. It's just a dive, right?"

He mustered his courage mounted the diving board and jumped. Finally he made it past his fear into the pool. It cost him nothing, he thought, until his swim trunks floated by.

When his trunks saw him he could swear that he could see that they picked up speed to get away from him. He caressed his balls in consideration of their shared heartache. The stand

lasted nearly thirty years, at which time, he stopped caressing his balls and learned to get along with his trunks & accept the heartache. Good thing, too, his balls were worn out!