The day our mother announced she was pregnant again, we all came out of the closet.

They always came in threes. I stood in stunned silence as he threw the first shovel of dirt upon the casket not knowing when today would end and tomorrow would begin. Three. A

She said I was a nogoodcheatingsonofabitch bastard & I could go straighttohell.I laughed & said I thought she would have been more original than that. She hit me with a frying pan.

"The future of advertising is within!" announced Senator Wayward Conquest as he strutted during his TED talk. "We can make everyone sleek, healthy, long-lived consumers with our ge

Salvation is about more than life and death. It is about freedom from the corrupt nature and the prisons with which we create a lie of ourselves. Salvation is not having to look

Shelly left for work every morning at 6:00 am. She always put on her shoes, before grabbing her keys, and driving to work. This morning was different however,

So I sat down and watched old Burn Notice reruns. Jack Bauer was no Michael Weston. Michael Weston was like Jack Bauer on steroids. As I munched on a bag of Skittles (taste the rai

The FFS Mandible drifted through ultraspace. The replicator was busted, the nearest Costco was 500 parsecs away and the crew was out of beer, pretzels and taco pizzas. Cap'n Storm

I witnessed an amazing sight this morning on my way to school. It was raining and lightning flashed in the sky with a resounding crash of thunder almost immediately afterward.

From the opposite side of the estuary, they observed the smoking remains of Hartlepool. He heard Sylvia sniff wetly beside him. 'Damned sentiment', he thought to himself, 'too late

1,2,3,pin,5,6,7,pin,9,10,11,pin,13,14,15,pin,17,

With the ability to fire string better than Spiderman, to grow faster than a steroid abuser and even to create life, the penis is a man's most prized possession. This is what

"Well," Sue said, "if you come to my flat I could give you a bowl of my very lovely mulligatawny soup and you could, maybe, eat it." The soup bribe worked and once he was sitting

Is there anyone out there who can help me write a surrealist poem?

"I'm tired of all these tentacled, 8-headed dragons," said Japanese hero Katsumi Shishi. "I'm gonna be a hero in Africa. Ornery hippos? Hyenas? No problem." She packed her raygun

Once upon a time there was this girl. This girls name was Hailey. Hailey had blonde hair and blue eyes. She was an average height of 5'7 and quite athletic. Hailey's favorite sport

And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, the highlight of the evening. I give you your contenders for Woman of the Century. First off we have

It was the kind of speech that awakens passion you didn't know you had, that makes you say, "The front lines? No biggie." I filled my quiver and charged, one klutzy archer against

He opened the brochure: Welcome to the Clam-net. We are a decentralized organization devoted to finding you the tastiest clams from around the world.

I am standing in the middle of the street playing hide and seek with the moon through the trees. The hum of the world tonight includes tankers hauling crude and Laredo traffic.