The problem with the Nutcracker wasn't his wooden conversation or his gastly chops, it was in his noggin, the whorls of his brain like those of a walnut. He was crackin' nutty &

When the accidental arrangement meant that Cape's fingertips would have to be severed, he considered his options, as he always had whenever he was forced into a situation like this

I was reading a book on my phone when an interrupting phone call came through on my watch. "Crap" I smelled. It was my wife-in-law. She'd sat in some elephant pellets and needed

Please, FS goddess, grant this story coherence & by your grace may this fold fruitfully spawn more folds of brilliant wit, erudition & other qualities tba at yr convenience

On his first date, he noticed on her shelf a first edition copy of 'The Trail'. Then and there, he decided to devote his life to Kafka. Unaware, it was her roommate's book.

Drusilla was wearing a ring. In the middle of the ring was a fabulous pearl. "It's the Pearl of Lao Tzu," she told Dominika. "Whoever wears this pearl shall have great fortune and

Luis was making a pizza delivery south of the border. The customs officer asks him if he has anything to declare. "Solo un cheese pizza officer an' 2 colas." "I smell anchovies

Feeling challenged to begin a story that doesn't contain the "p word" I transport you to a planet inhabited only a species of sentient vegetatively propagating flatworms: Flatland.

Lightning streaked across the sky and the trident rose to catch it. The charged weapon was now ready to be handed by the gods to a mortal worthy enough to carry it. His name was

A long time ago in 1988, a man named Albert bought a boom box. The boom box was loud and Albert's neighbors were

It wet. sky wet. haha . *looks up* *laughs* *opens mouth* Come down. Wet. Like kisses. *smiles*. *raises hands* *runs around waving arms*

I never really thought I'd die, it just sort of happened.

The Devil doesn't wear Prada. What a load of malarky. He wears knockoffs. I was sauntering through a backstreet in Mongkok when a goatied fellow whispered, "Want good deal on handb

The mirror hummed to itself as Kevin D. shaved one nice spring morning. It was only a $20 medicine cabinet with a mirror door from Do-It Depot, but it had a very dark past. Kevin

For George, the rehearsal just felt... off. He approached the lead actress hesitantly. "Um, this is Les Miserables, right?" "Uh, no, dude. This is Miserable Lesbians." She looked a

Dammit! My husband, Jefforama, is beating me at FoldingStory! Sure, I have more points, but his average is higher. Why must everything in our marriage be a competition?! Jefforama

Anne met her boyfriend at Facebook.He was a friend of a friend of a friend whom she used to play a few games with.Virtual games.The kind of games children were not supposed to play

Dog goes woof Cat goes meow Bird goes tweet & mouse goes squeek Cow goes moo Frog goes croak & the elephant goes toot Ducks say quack & fish go blub and the seal goes ow But there'

This is an account of the events that transpired between Mr. Needlepoop and the FedEx delivery man on April 20, 2014. When FedEx rang the doorbell it triggered Mr. Needlepoop’s OCD

Bruce and Clark flew out to the west coast to have brunch with Godzilla. After some awkward pleasantries, Bruce confided, "We know what it's like to be alone in the world." The