I had recollected myself from the impertinent psychomagnets of the world. I walked among them now, my hairy belly to the wind, taunting their advertorial compulsions. As for pity,

Strangers. Friends. Best friends. Lovers. Strangers.

"How do you do?" Enquired Mr. Wallace. "How do you do?" Replied Sir P. Mustard. Wallace's eyes were confused. This was awkward. These british greetings

This Ning genno yiyamalro wattasi durable glass and blah blah nek Death Oh, and b bread pop four a long time blah blah blah Groningen no Crayon eyebrows Oh, and b bread pop fou

Meeting early tomorrow. Do not induce hangover. Meeting early tomorrow. Do not induce hangover. Meeting early tomorrow. Do not induce hangover. Meeting in five minutes. Hangover.

"Anything liquid, flammable, perishable, or hazardous in here sir?" "Nope, just a book." Inside was a fruit salad mixed with gasoline stored in a glass bowl. I was sending my ex

One day, the giant pixie set out to hunt down a very wise spider. She left the Castle of Azerouth at 1:45pm and headed towards the Blue Lagoon. When she arrived,

Therapeutic Holiday Story # 1: It all began when Dickie, my brother-in-law, leaned across the dinner table, stared straight at me and murmured, "I'll have a thigh."

The world is spinning as I wake up to the sound of thunder. The dark colors swirl around the room in an epileptic mess as the lightning continues to strike. Where is my wife?

But there he was, dead over the desk, an expensive pen jammed far into his vertebrae. Clutched in his cold hand was a piece of paper folded repeatedly: An unfinished story fold.

The statisticians and the accountants gathered at the Oval in London to watch the Ashes test match. It could be 5 thrilling days of graphs, numbers, beer and cricket if

I wasn't cut out to be a Teppanyaki chef. My flaming onion volcanoes collapsed, my jokes fell flat, and on multiple occasions I damaged a child's eye with an errant shrimp toss or

I'd always scraped by on what I made smuggling epikuroweed over the border. Sure I'd had a few tranQgas induced heart-attacks along the way but I was still in good shape, more or

I shot every round I had into that thing.

The stars twinkled brightly and the waves crashed hard as I

Saucers over our battlefields -- that's all we need to know. They never came down to shame us. "Not quite ready," they probably wrote in their notes. Emanators watched the Saucer P

Severus would not reveal his secret longing for Harry's

"Cat got your tongue?" said Natasha. It was true. My Tabby Dmitry blew me a rasberry. Meanwhile I had his tongue. I felt the raspy prickly velcro-like texture of it & had an urge

I drove up to get a good look at the driver. Pock-marked. Sullen. Who wouldn't be sullen, he was just punched in the pace.

Fuck it. He wasn't working anymore, and he wasn't going to quit. "Bean stock?" Fuck bean stock. Starbucks sucks. The little white beeper went off, and he thought "No..."