He sat back and stretched his legs. He had finally done it, all 600 pages. The epic "To-Do" list for the rest of his life. Number 1: wash socks...

“You know, that ship saved my life quite a few times. She’s the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy.” said the Captain of the Titanic. "Sir, that ship has not been in the water yet"

He was certain of only two things. First, he has owned precisely twenty-four pillows in his lifetime. Second,

He held birthday greetings in one hand. Bottle of wine in the other. Despite honorable intentions, he felt on the verge of a panic attack. It had been

"Don't worry about it Bob! Stop being such a puss Bob! The SEC will never notice Bob! That's what you said! You screwed me you bastard! I'm finished!" "Lower your voice Bob" He ope

It was brilliant, yes, but so simple too. So obvious. This brilliant, simple, obvious concept had changed everything overnight. The idea was

I was at home hearing my old fashioned radio when a thunder struck a near by building. I jumped up in horrer and ran to my window I saw something unbelievable, I rubbed my eyes and

I hate it when I didn't realize the story I added something awesome to was about something perverse and I didn't even know it!

My boyfriend likes to play video games. That would be normal except that when he kills people; he tells me he really wishes it was in real life...

I'd lifted the lid of the outhouse toilet seat everytime I used it, looking for scorpions and their ilk. Why the hell did I concede to this vacation in a log cabin? A paw appeared

I could see the peach fuzz on her

I'd invited the regulars, Bob who brews Nutbrowns, Sam, the Pilsnerking, & Sally, the Amber-lady. The burgers were on the grill when I popped the unmarked bottle of Obama Honey Ale

Was It wrong to draw breasts on the "Hang In There" kitten poster?

You have been given the task of bringing forth the apocalypse, and it can be done in 10 easy steps. Step 1 of 10 - Hack your local governments communications network.

There was an eye in his breakfast cereal, floating there in a 2% milk bath, staring up at him. No sign of an optic nerve or even any other gore - just a perfect eye with a green

I slammed the giant bird down on the table & said "FINE! Then you eat it." With that, I twisted the top off a giant jug of chardonnay & headed into the backyard. This Thanksgiving

"Apparently Zizzi is a French slang word for penis," the camp Hermione Granger look-alike drawled matter-of-factly. The passengers on the Tube train shuffled awkwardly, their

Natures beauty is so powerful. I wept at the sight of the magnificent ancient rocky gorge. The crystal clear rock pools looked so inviting for swimming. It was a lovely warm day

"It's all gonna be okay. It'll be okay! You'll be okay!" Helen screamed while tears ran down her face. She nervously clung on to her brother, who was lying in a pool of blood.

"Eh, look, I don't want to be rude, but I'm not much of a conversationalist, and I really want to finish this article, a friend of mine wrote it, so... " "Don't let me stand in you