"Well," I said, getting comfortable on the couch, "my problems seem to stem from the fact that I'm sexually attracted to garden gnomes." "I see," said Dr. Klumpf, scrolling

I feel like I am going to sneeze, and the sneeze is coming and sweet relief is about to take place…and then…nothing happens!

But the seven dwarfs were totally dysfunctional. They hid that from snow white for as long as they could. Dopey was the scape goat. No one was allowed to

Fold this, scumbag!

In less than 24 hours after I drank the Kefir with Live & Active Cultures I began to feel a strange and disconcerting activity in my gut. Lactobacillus acidophilus

'Twas the night before Halloween, when all through the mansion. Not a creature was stirring, not even Mr. Asp the mortician.

The ill-fitting door acted as a venturi for cold air to enter the room. Collis shuddered under its influence, trying to remained focused on avoiding a repeat of the Inugi incident.

The once was a happily married couple known as Bob and Bobette and they lived with their dog sheba. One day, Sheba was bitten by a squirrel and turned RABBID

As Bob sat in Church, he counted on his fingers how many of the Ten Commandments he was breaking. "Let's see, I'm coveting Dave's wife, and all of her goods. And I'm about to steal

For Sale: White Furby, still in the box, excellent condition. Comes with free three-bedroom, two-bathroom estate. Call me for pricing information @ 410-123-4567.

They keep making the TV's sexier, smarter and prettier. Well, I've fallen deeply, madly in love with my Flatscreen. I know how to turn it on, it shows me things that I

"Where to?" asked the taxi driver. He looked back, noticing a burly, armored man wielding a halberd. "Raiders fan?" The man gripped his weapon. He was actually an executioner from

He was a cliche skateboarder

I detected that familiar light, feral and quite frightening, in Jake's striking eyes even before he steadied to jump. "And remember," he said. "Danger is not my name- it's my life"

But what they've never heard of is Groundhog's night! The sinister gleam in his eye

The objects stopped. They loyal citizens placed their faith in them by

In order to be a serial killer you can't want to really be one. All those losers who try to be a serial killer are by definition not real serial killers. They aren't worth discussi

Bob and Betty were married. David and Chanel were married. Bob loved Betty and Betty loved Bob. David loved Chanel but Chanel loved David AND Bob. One night at a dinner party

My latest dieting epiphany is the all-pill diet. For breakfast I have 2 glucosamine/chondroitins, a calcium, a vitamin D, 2 vitamin Cs, a baby aspirin, & a large ginko biloba. For

I got down on one knee. "With this ring, will you do me the honor of becoming complicit in the exploitation of destitute African diamond miners?" She blinked. "Oops, I mean