After forty hours on my feet, lying down made my brain geyser out of my ear and leave a pink stain as it cascaded down the bedroom wall. I was flying at a 35 degree angle through

I remember the day the guns stopped firing.

Clara sipped her Costa Rican rum and watched amusedly as the wild capuchin monkeys rifled through tourists' carelessly unattended beach bags. The capuchins were clever and

The sun was shinning, the birds singing but William was in a foul mood. He stalked his way across the paddock the object of his rage coming closer with each

Bret Humorless was the most serious man in the world, and he made sure everyone knew it. His colleagues at Crock O'News tried to get him to crack a smile, but

I can't even look at you without getting flustered. I didn't want to feel this way about you, but it happened. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I fell in love with you.

His dog Rex had been missing two days. His dish sat untouched on the kitchen floor.

"And so, Miss Wheedle" read the email, "I couldn't complete my project because I haven't had access to a computer for over a month now, and a dog ate my printer." She clicked

I don't know. I've been hitting it pretty hard. She smiled, "Yeah, I know. It can get pretty hard when you're laying it on pretty thick." I couldn't stop staring at the

"They appear to enjoy roaming at night," Kaku silently mused, the others in the room nodded, picking up on his thoughts. Kaku adjusted the telescope to the waxing gibbous setting

I was sitting across the aisle & saw the whole thing. My hero Jackie Chan (on my flight!) had a bit much to drink & got irate when the lummox in front of him leaned his seat back

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

To become someone great is a terrible ordeal that only few pass, and Sampson wasn't going to be one of them. He had never wanted to be great, he had only ever wanted to leave his

At the Boar and Chicklet, Angelo Trotter spoke from his fifth pint. "We're all just tips of icebergs, you know, exchanging fragments of spiderwebs." Meanwhile, at the dart-board,

"The Tommy Gnosis version is the far superior rendition," she spat, vehemently showering biscotti crumbs all over her rapt group of disciples. "Tom and Jerry? More like Uncle Tom

It's a commonly held belief that imaginary friends cease to exist when their human creators grow up. However, that simply isn't the case...

Over the years, I realized that popularity looses its value which leaves the popular people with no more power.

Hi, I'm Jim Reaper. You might know someone who came to know my brother, Grim. I can assure you that my interests lie in the agriculture sector, and maybe in you. For a fun time,

I'm a professional extremist. I'm hired by the opposition to give bombastic, stupid exaggerations of the sensible party online to make the opposition's idiocy pale by comparison.

Why?Why did it always have to be BOTH. Diet AND exercise. Black AND blue. Up AND down. In the name of all that is good & right & holy in this godforsaken land of pain AND suffering